pearl {hs}

sober side of sorry.

tw: mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of car accidents, mentions of death

-this is a very heavy chapter, be kind to yourself and please be kind to pearlrry. I love you all.

song; sober side of sorry // zach bryan

harry xx

 I made a mistake.

Gemma wanted me to tag along with her boyfriend, Shepard, and his sister, Grace to Disco for the big Christmas bash. I didn't think it would be a good idea because I knew I would run into Margot.

Not that I don't want to, but I screwed everything up again.

She kept begging and begging so I decided to say fuck it. If we run into each other what's the worst case to happen? She tells me to go away?

But, I was wrong.

Everywhere I turned she was there. Entering the club a massive sign with her name on it. Getting a drink at the bar, she's there. Wanna dance, try not bumping into her.

As the night went on, I kept searching for her face in the crowd. Hoping that we would meet each other's eyes. Just to feel home.

Then it was time for her to go on stage. Gemma told me that after I left she stopped doing all the other small gigs we would do together besides this one. I'm proud of her. She's shining in her own fame in this town. Margot never cared for the world to be in love with her. But, she wanted to give the world her songs and stories.

I took that from her.

She was absolutely stunning. She was wearing forest green silk wide legged trousers and a black long sleeve top. Simple but jaw dropping, a style she has always perfected.

Margot has a way about her that just makes everyone feel warm and safe. Like a warm cookie fresh out of the oven or a nice cup of hot chocolate on those dark cold days. She makes everyone feel welcome.

I went to the very back just to watch her from a distance. I watched her walk up the stairs, waving at everyone. Like she's a pop star at a sold out concert. Sitting down on that piano bench like she's at home. In her own element.

But, then we made eye contact. When we made eye contact all of the warmth disappeared. A place that was once warm and safe, turned dark and cold. As if the universe was sending a message to me.

Telling me, run. You are only doing more harm than good. But, I stayed.

"So when Disco asked me to play a song tonight I went through my song book. Seeing what spoke to me. This one I haven't sang in so long." She says into the mic as she begins playing a melody. Not just any melody, Champagne Problems. The song we wrote together that now is the most ironic thing.

Given I am the one who left and she stayed.

Her eyes meet mine. My heart drops to my stomach. She turns from me and begins playing a song that is not familiar.

Friends break up, friends get married
Strangers get born, strangers get buried
Trends change, rumors fly through new skies
But I'm right where you left me
Matches burn after the other
Pages turn and stick to each other
Wages earned and lessons learned
But I, I'm right where you left me

No...This cannot be about me? Can it?

She closes her eyes letting the music take over.