pearl {hs}

till forever falls apart.

song; till forever falls apart // ashe ft finneas

harry xx

If you'd ask fourteen year old Harry where he sees himself at twenty-six. He would say living life in fame with the girl of his dreams. In love and doing the thing he enjoys most in life, music.

He definitely wouldn't say that he got a record deal making him leave everything he knows. Only to come back four years later because his dad died and find out that he had been lied to for those four years. He definitely wouldn't say that he was doing it without the love of his life. And he definitely wouldn't say that four years later she hated him.

But, what I would tell my fourteen year old self if I'd get to talk to him, would be that we made it.

That we made it, not in the way we'd hope. But, all of the challenges we will go through only made us stronger and to remind him that we'll be alright.

Everything happens for a reason.

My fourteen year old self definitely didn't predict that awful contract twenty-one year old Harry did and he definitely didn't predict that he is going to be a dad at twenty-six.

He definitely didn't predict his best friend dying or the woman he looked up to dying.

He definitely did not predict looking and combing through a contract because he feels like the deal is too good to be true only because of what we previously went through.

But hey, everything happens for a reason.

Margot is due any day and we are scrambling. There's so much that we put off that needs done and I am still trying to figure out if I am signing again. When my pregnant girlfriend is home trying to make sure her store will make it while she is away with our sunshine girl.

The nursery is partially done. But not enough for me to sleep at night. Since I am away during the day if I am not at Canyon Moon. I hardly sleep at night trying to get this nursery perfect for our baby.

Margot laughs it out and tells me that it's okay that it's not done. Something about, “she's a baby. For the first few months she will be with us. She's not going to know the difference.”

But, it needs to be perfect.

Today I am over here at Shep and Gemmas house so that we can finish looking over the contract before our zoom meeting with the label. This is when I thank Gemma for marrying a lawyer.

The contract that they sent over made me very skeptical. We looked over it maybe a thousand times and it's… giving me everything I want.

Full creative control, recording whenever it's conducive to my schedule and family, a combined tour for Fine Line and the third record, Jeff is no longer over me.  I don't even have to cut a record after this one if I chose not to.

At first I thought it was too good to be true. I mean after all, look what they did to me five years ago.

“Are you ready to sign?” Shep rasps and I nod before rubbing my eyes from exhaustion. “I think so. Margot is going to flip when I tell her this is what we have been working on.” I chuckle.

He lets out a breathy laugh before leaning back on their brown leather couch. “What did she think we were doing?”

“Golfing.” I say looking at him.

He scoffs in disbelief, “Golfing?”

“You act like you basically don't golf every fucking day.” I say back and he accepts defeat as he knows what I said is true.