The beauty of chapters: I thought he was the one

Chapter 24

The wind and disappearing sound of the music was what dominated the air as we walked to his car in silence. I hated the sound of nothing between us, especially when ii knew that Jackson was not the type to welcome silence like Michael was, which meant eh really didn't want to talk to me.

I didn't like that, but I didn't know what to say either.

He must've felt my eyes on him cuz he turned to give me a tight smile that rounded his cheeks like chubby mochis but didn't pull the corner of his lips up.

"Do you mind if we make a quick stop to my place?" he finally broke the silence just a few distance away from the dorm. "I need to grab something. I don't wanna make the drive to and back on my own."

I checked the time on my phone and it was already past midnight. I couldn't be more late than I already was. Besides it was the old security working that night and he's chilled. "Uhm sure. Do you live on campus?"

He shook his head. Of course he doesn't.

"So..." I attempted to start a conversation now that I knew he was willing to talk to me but fell short. I guess he could sense my attempt cuz he gave me another smile and this time it was genuine, not forced, but not that much better than the last.

It was awkward.

The sky was clouded tonight. Tiny dimmers of stars will appear every time a cloud would move away then go into hiding again as another one approached. It was like my mind. So many thoughts running through them, my studies, my future, what Michael said, my friendship with Jackson but none of them got any real time. They all showed up for just a second before another one took over. My mind was as busy as the campus street on every weekend and with it was the suffocating silence that not even Cigarettes after Sex singing Apocalypse could fill it up.

A few miles off campus we took a turn onto a small neighbourhood. The street light illuminated the wild dance of the green bushes in the wind, each layer was a natural fence separating the different neutral coloured houses from one another. The thick line from where the light flooded just inches onto their lawn and complete darkness that reached all the way to some houses because their lights were off, created a gloomy scene of chilling eeriness.

We pulled onto the driveway on one of the few houses that had their porch light on. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Uh, ya. I need to use the restroom."

We got out of the car together. Our foot tapped on the wooden steps as we climbed up to the porch. Jackson unlocked the door and held it open for me, "Come in." he switched on the light as we stepped into a small family room, the deep green of the furniture's stood out from the light pitch of the wall, creating a welcoming atmosphere of warmth that screamed home. On the right of us was the entrance to the dark kitchen, the reflection of the light gleaming off the fridge's door was the only indication of the room's purpose.

"Is this your parents' house?" I asked, moving further into the room, where a flight of stairs led up to the second floor and a tiny, dark hallway continued on down the house.

"My uncle. I enrolled at a dorm but he figured it'll be better if I come here. More 'bonding time'," he used air quotes, "but we barely even see each other. He's out drinking right now. The bathroom is to the left down the hall. Second door." He pointed over to the small hallway as he climbed up the stairs.

With a bubbling sound in the background, I used my phone's light to guide my way and as I opened the second door on my left as instructed, I walked into a light blue bathroom. I almost had a heart attack at my pale reflection in the mirror right behind the door. My eye bags dragged down my face from fatigue of the long night, my pink lips were the only indication that I still had life in me.

I moved to the small sink, a single toothpaste and toothbrush stood in a small cup, the only indication of people using this room. I guessed it was a guy thing and not just a Michael thing to barely have anything. I washed the drowsiness from my eyes, then just starred at my wet face in the mirror. So many thoughts were running through my mind that I could grasp onto neither one.

Afterwards, I dried my face with tissue then went back to the front where Jackson had not appeared yet. Scanning my surrounding, I saw nothing of interest except for the bubbling sound coming from a squared fish tank near the kitchen entrance. I shone my phone's light in there just in case, then moved to see the two, fairly big fish swimming leisurely in the water.

Striking red stripes stood out from their grey scales, tiny blue appeared every time the light from my phone hit on them from the right angle. They were captivating.

The sound of footsteps walking down the stairs alerted me of Jackson's presence. "I didn't know you were into fish." I commented, still unable to remove my eyes off the two beautiful beasts.

"I'm not." He sounded from behind me, a few feet away. "Michael wanted one and we ended up making bets on who's fish would die first."

Wow.

"A very peculiar friendship you two have." I looked up to see him leaning against the back of the couch, facing me.

"That's my ride or die. There were babies in there but I guess they ate it." He went back to the original subject but my mind had jumped onto a new one. I wondered how secretive Jackson was compared to Michael. "They just lay eggs then eat the kids like popcorn."

"Hmm." I wasn't sure what his reaction would be to my question but I had to give it a try. It was just a colour so it couldn't be that big to keep a secret. Besides, I'd rather we talk about things that might not really have any deep meaning instead of going back to the silence from before.

"Can I ask you something? What's with the black?"

"The black?" The way it took him some time to understand what I meant showed that it couldn't be that big of a deal. "Oh. It's just something from our old school." He shrugged, planning to end it there but then saw I wasn't satisfied with that answer. "In high school we were part of group called 'The Goths'. It was a rule to wear black so we obeyed."

Oh. "You guys mentioned something about bad reputation." I enquired further, using this chance to get answers.

"Ya. When the group first started it was actual goths, people into that dark shit, then some other kids joined who were more ruthless, troublesome and created problems for the town."

"Like steal?"

"Steal, bullying, all the nasty things teenagers do, you name it. It was basically like a gang but when Michael and I joined it was just a normal group. The only thing that really made us different was the colour and the reputation that stuck with the name."

That's why Sarah said the town had it good with them. They weren't really trouble. Why didn't Michael tell me that though? What was he trying to hide by refusing to answer my questions?

"Oh. Why did you guys stuck with the group though if you knew it'd be bad for your reputation?"

"We were teenagers; we didn't really care. And it felt like if we did cave in then people would actually believe that the group was bad and we chose to leave it when it wasn't like that at all. Beside the town that we moved into was small, it didn't really matter if you changed, the pasts stuck with you. Now I guess we just wear the colour cuz everything else seems dull."

"Hmm." I nodded, slowly.

"I've answered your questions; can I ask you one?"

"Sure."

"Do you like Michael?"

I froze.

The answer was far out of my mind and I did not have it in me to try to grasp it. I didn't know. I just stood there, mouth open for an answer that wasn't coming out and heat rising up my neck from being put on the spot.

He waited patiently, watching, observing my every feature for a slight movement that led more towards an answer than the other. But in his eyes I guess the silence was enough of an answer. "I should get you home."