The beauty of chapters: I thought he was the one

Chapter 35

Dubraska

I avoided him all week.

Every time I had Business Management class, I would wait into the library until the very last minute then kept my head down all the way to my seat. There was a chance that he probably wasn't trying to even talk to me but that was slim down when he tried to approach me after class and I pretended to receive an important call before dashing into the girls' restroom where I knew he couldn't enter.

On Wednesday, he was standing by his car with his friends. When he saw me he took a step to approach but stopped once he noticed I took a one back. With a tight smile of acceptance, he just waved and I did the same back before running back to the library to wait for him to leave.

I was acting stupid and childish, but I wasn't ready to have a conversation with him yet. I didn't even know what to say. Yes, my action was making it look like what I told him were false but I didn't care. I was embarrassed and felt rejected.

Like a toy he found on the store's shelf, played with it in the aisle then decided he didn't want it when reaching the counter.

I was hurt.

I got my first kiss then rejected just two days later.

Now, Thursday, I hurried to pick up my stuff as the lecture ended, shoving everything inside my bag, not caring about the paper getting creased. I managed out my seat and as I stepped to leave Michael had closed the distance between us to leave just five feet and panicked, I bolted for the professor.

I don't even remember what I asked but it was enough to have him entertained me as I took quick glances at Michael who now walked out of the class. Jackson gave me a knowing look to which I ignored.

"If you have any other questions don't hesitate." The professor told me, already answered my question without me even knowing.

I plastered on my fakest, brightest smile. "Sure thing. Thank you." and with my backpack on one shoulder, I stepped out the door and Michael stepped right in front of me.

Fuck.

"You've been avoiding me like the plague."

"Ugh," He looked down at the floor before meeting my gaze again and this time I was the one to end the contact.

It didn't matter what light coloured his eyes, whether it was confusion, sadness or happiness it was still beautifully captivating and for once I didn't want to be trapped in them. I wasn't fully alright. And if he looked into my eye he would've known. It wasn't like my body language was hiding much anyway.

"No, no. I've just been busy."

"Well can I walk you to wherever you're going? I won't take up much of your time, I don't mind the tiny crumbs." He tried a sweet, innocent smile that would've been believable if not for the sadness that never seemed to be too far behind.

Why did he have to be sad? Couldn't he be happy or at least an asshole?

At first glance he gave the last impression, he could be one when he wanted to be but he wasn't choosing to be one right now and that aggravated me.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked after four long seconds of walking in silence. "If you are, can you tell me what I need to do to fix it. I don't like this distance between us."

"Why? It's not that we were that close to begin with."

There was silence.

I could tell he wanted to argue with the statement but he couldn't cuz it was true.

We weren't that close.

He might've been my first friend but there were things we still didn't know about each other, or more like things I still didn't know about him. My life was the only open book between us and that wasn't fare.

Neither was he wanting things to go back to normal after us kissing.

"I don't know what to say to make things better. If I did, I'll fix it, I'll-"

"It's not like that, Michael." I cut him short. Even if he was being sincere with every word I couldn't let that get to me.

"I'm not bitter or anything, we both have different priorities which lead to us not wanting the same things, that's fine. The issue is that it's just weird now. We can't act like nothing ever happened. Friends don't kiss. At least in my book they don't." I add just for a little bit of salt in the wound as I still remember the look Sarah gave him when it came to Larissa hooking up with questionable guys.

I was still wondering if he was on that list.

Understanding that there wasn't anything else he could say, with his eyes to the floor, he nodded. "I'll see you around then."

"Bye."

With a hesitant look in his demeanour, he turned and walked away, passing his hand through his hair as he did.

Was it stupid of me to wish that he did object to what I said?

I doubt it was going to change my mind but I wanted just a little bit more effort. Just a little bit.

But it was dumb.

Struggling to keep myself from frowning, I walked the other direction even when that wasn't my original route just cuz I know he wouldn't be there. Now I understood why Mum was against me having friends.

Even if I was in the dark, I was better off without the scalding heat of the sun.