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Chapter 45

The gun trembled in my hand as Creed stretched out his arms in surrender and kneeling down to his knees with his eyes glued to the floor.  I felt a wave of defeat roll off him as he submitted to whatever fate I was going to deal him.

"Do it, Eva.  All along you have made it clear that you didn't want a mate.  I couldn't  accept it before, but I give up.  If you don't want to be my mate then I'm not going to force you."

"Get up, don't make me do this.  You need to give me space and time."

"I can't.  Accept me now or put me out of misery." Creed dropped his arm limply to his sides as his shoulders slouched in ultimate submission.  Creed and his wolf was submitting to us, putting their fate in my hands.

My hand tighten around the gun and I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath.  This is it Eva, you can get rid of your mate now and forever.  This is what I  want, what I've always wanted. To be left alone. I had given up on love a long time ago.  Love is a weakness. Creed is a weakness.  I can't stand weakness.

"I'm sorry Creed, but I've never wanted another mate."

"I get it now.  Put me down." I replaced the gun to his lowered head. Tears swam in my eyes and my heartbeat raced.  "Do it!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!" I pulled the trigger several times as I screamed out my pain.  Tears flowed and I fell to my knees joining Creed and drop the gun to the floor.

 I clung to his shirt sobbing for everything that I've been through.  The abandonment of my father, the loss of my mother, the betrayal of my first mate had stripped me of my humanity. All of it being sealed through the  training from the council to become an emotionally, detached assassin whose primary goal in life was to complete my assignments at any cost.  Leaving only hopelessness and loneliness in its place.  I accepted those feelings and used them as a shield to keep people away. Those feelings reminded me that when I give my heart to someone, my heart always ended up ripped apart.  Without me noticing, certain people had started to penetrate that shield and slowly let me feel something that I vowed that I would never do again.

However the Wrights have needled and chipped away the barrier and begun to crack my shield. Reminding me what it feels like to love and be loved.  To have people who depend on me and look to me for protection.  

To have someone like Creed who will do anything to protect me and love me so fiercely.  I forgot what it felt like to have someone to protect me for a change.  To put  my well being in front of their own and not look at me as someone who is expendable.  To look beyond my persona of being an emotionless liar and trained killer. To see the real me that I buried so long ago of a woman who would love to be mated and have kids.  To live a fulfilled life surrounded by those I love.

"Shhhh.  I've got you." My arms tighten around Creed as I clung to him and continue to sob.

Creed lifted me into his arms and began his ascent up the stairs. Stopping at the top briefly before finding my door, and then laid me down gently on the bed. "Eva open your eyes. Please, don't shut me out."  I stared up into Creed's eyes filled with sadness.  Creed hands cupped my face his thumbs lightly wiping away my tears. "I know having a mate is not what you wanted.  That having a mate is weak, but you are wrong.  Having a mate makes you stronger.  I, no we will be stronger together."

I reached up wrapping my hands around his wrist and pushed them off my face. I scooted up into a sitting position  forcing him to sit upright. I stared into his eyes for a second before shutting him from view. "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying to you, Creed? Having a mate makes me weak because in my line of work. The people I encounter are not always the most upstanding members of our society. They would not hesitate to use my mate against me."

"Eva open your eyes, look at ne. Do really believe that? Do you think I couldn't handle myself? Do you think I wouldn't be able to protect you?"

"I have seen it happen to other operatives. I've seen what having a mate can do. And protect me? Don't you mean lock up in the house forever.  I can't.  No I won't be locked up and become some house wife. That is not me."

"I get that Eva. I was wrong to try and keep you from the fight, but can  you blame me? Do you know what it did to me when I saw you on the floor in that warehouse. I thought you were dead. And when your team carried your limp body out, I lost it. No one would tell us anything for days until I tracked you down to that hospital. So forgive me for being a little overprotective." Creed rose pacing back and forth while running his hands through his hair.

"If you were so worried about me, why did you keep me drugged up, locked up in your house, and ignore me for days?" That made him stop and turn towards me.

"I had no choice." Creed looked away from me shoving his hands in back pockets. He was keeping something from me.

"What do you mean? " I sat up straighter in the bed leaning away from the headboard.

"I couldn't be near you without..."

"Creed?"

"My beast wanted to complete the mating process. I wasn't ignoring you, but protecting you from myself. I was barely hanging on. Everytime I was near you I was close to losing control and shifting.  I knew you needed to heal and I wanted to give you more time to accept us. But the beast wanted to claim you before anyone else tried to take you from us." Silence wafted between us for a couple of minutes. I was torn, I was so angry at him for ignoring me because I thought he was punishing me for my decision.  I didn't consider that there may be another reason. Now I felt relief. I sure as hell was not ready for that.

"And now?" I needed to know if he is still struggling with his wolf. Colin had warned me that he might force the mating issue.

"I want you to accept us." Creed came back and sat on the bed taking my hands in his.

"Can you give me time?" He nodded.

"Do you believe that I make you weak?" I pondered his question for a second.

"Honestly, I don't know. I know I'm tired of fighting this thing between  us. But you need to understand that I'm not going to change. If we are going to try and make this work, don't stand in my way of my job."

"I respect that, if you respect that from now on we are a team. No more running or making decisions for the both of us. I can handle myself."

"After what I saw at the hospital when you came to break me out, I know you can."

"Good, now that is settled, let's get some rest." Creed pulled off his boots and stood up to unzip his jeams.

"What are you doing?" I pulled the cover over my body as I stared at the strip show Creed was giving. Not going to lie he was impressive. If I  was healthy I wouldn't be questioning his action, but encouraging it. But I was too exhausted.

"What's it look like? Getting ready for bed." Creed had pull his shirt over his head leaving him in a pair of black boxers.

"There is a couch downstairs."

"I'm sleeping with my mate. Not up for discussion." He walked over to the door and flip the light switch. off

"Well you stay on your side of the bed and keep your clothes on!" Creed raised the blanket and slid in next to me. I turned my back to him facing the wall.

"Hmmmm." Creed ignored everything I said, pulling my backside into his naked chest as his arm wrap around me. "Sleep sweet cheeks."

I smiled in response to the vile nickname unbeknownst to him. I scooted back into the warmth of his body and let sleep claim me.

A/N

Let's see how long they keep the peace.

Don't forget to vote/comment.

Nicci