The Woods ✔

Someday

The sky was pitch-black. Though space was infinite it seemed to want to suffocate earth with its heavy darkness. At least this night.

Strangely, it didn't bother Caden although his eyes now and then strayed to the window in search of some stars. However he didn't need them anymore to guide him because he trusted Ajax to keep him safe and sound at all times.

A silly, tired grin became visible on his face when he looked over at the lion who was focused on the road. His long fingers drummed a silent rhythm on the steering wheel and Caden yearned for their touch. Everything in him screamed and begged and clawed to get closer to the man.

"Ajax," he muttered, unsure about what he was feeling. The lion noticed the slight hitch in his voice and immediately looked over at him with an alarmed expression. Caden shuffled closer - as close as the seat belt would let him - and nuzzled his face against the lion's shoulder to breathe in his addicting scent. It was mixed with the scent of the other pride members and the scent of food. His mother had made them take home a ton of leftovers which would feed them for at least a week.

Pan had suffered the same fate although he had more problems fitting the countless containers into his in comparison to Ajax' truck tiny sports car. He had complained and cursed for ten minutes straight but Jade was merciless and didn't allow him to leave a single fruit skewer behind, much to her husband's amusement.

Caden still couldn't believe that this carefree guy bore such a heavy weight.

"We'll be home soon," Ajax soothed him and Caden nodded groggily. It was well past midnight and his brain felt mushy from all the excitement of the day. He just wanted to cuddle with Ajax and sleep. There was still a giddy feeling in his stomach when he remembered that, yes, they were indeed sharing a bed and, yes, there had been some sort of sexual encounter. It still made his face flush a deep shade of red.

He barely noticed it when they made it home, his brain too far gone in its useless tadpole-mode. Ajax carried him inside and he remembered Michael doing the same on their last evening together. Suddenly he just wanted to scream and cry at the world for taking the bear away from him. It was not fair! It was not fair that Michael was dead, ripped away just like that.

"Hey, ssh, why are you crying?" Ajax' deep, rumbling voice momentarily brought him back to reality and he opened his mouth to say something but only a choked sob came out. He tasted the saltiness of his tears on his lips and somehow it made him cry even harder.

The lion soundlessly carried him through the dark house and sat down on the bed before slipping off Caden's shoes. He didn't ask questions, didn't demand answers. He was just there. And it was more than Caden had ever asked for. Someone who held him when the memories hurt too much or when the pain in his chest tried to strangle him. Ajax simply rocked them back and forth and held Caden close.

"He's gone," Caden forced out between strained breaths. "Gone."

He shivered and whipped at his eyes.

It wasn't him to break down like that. Hell, he hadn't cried since he had left the cabin and ran cowardly away from all the pain. Shame bubbled in his stomach when he realized how weak he was acting in front of the alpha male. He struggled to get free but Ajax just tightened his hold and finally Caden gave up with a frustrated growl. His eyes felt swollen and there was an annoying lump in his throat.

"Let me go," he demanded and squirmed again but Ajax only tsked and pressed the cougar flush against his body so he wasn't able to do more than wiggle a bit.

Now he really felt like a tadpole.

Dejectedly he slumped against the bigger man and accepted his defeat. There was nothing a cougar could do to escape an alpha lion.

"It still hurts," he muttered, bringing a hand up to point at his chest. "here."

Ajax hummed in understanding although he couldn't know why it hurt. Caden guessed that perhaps he had felt the same when his mother had died. Damn, he felt bad for throwing a tantrum.

"They" He swallowed thickly and took a shaky breath. "They shot him."

"Hunters?" Ajax inquired softly and Caden nodded. He still could hear that sound, how it silenced the forest, how the fear instantly made his heart beat quicker. It repeated over and over in his head and he realized that in that moment, this split second, he had lost everything. His body shuddered in Ajax' arms.

He knew that Ajax would probably hate him for being so selfish. Who in their right mind would run off into town to drink Latte Macchiato when the one person they cared about was in danger? Pathetic.

"You don't have to tell me," Ajax said and Caden looked up to see the sincerity in his green eyes. The offer was tempting but he knew that it wasn't fair.

"I wasn't there to safe him," he blurted out, bracing himself for the inevitable disgust.

However Ajax only emitted that low rumble from deep within his chest and stroked Caden's back. The cougar stared at him warily.

"What are you doing?" he asked when Ajax leaned forward, making the man pause.

"Comforting you," he grumbled and guided Caden's head into the crook of his neck. The cougar nearly moaned as his senses where assaulted by the man's delicious scent.

They stayed like that until Caden's breath wasn't ragged and choppy anymore and the tears had dried, leaving a itchy feeling on his cheeks. He rubbed his face against Ajax' shoulder who chuckled gruffly at that.

"Better?" he asked softly and Caden nodded sheepishly.

"Michael, he took care of me," Caden explained slowly, not sure how much he should share. "He was shot by hunters and I wasn't there to protect him. I- I just wasn't there."

"We can't save everyone," Ajax muttered and Caden saw the pain in his eyes. Pain that sat as deep as his own.

"I was dumb and had run off to meet some guy." Ajax visibly tensed under him. "He wasn't even worth it. When I came home Michael wasn't there and I couldn't stop thinking about the gunshot I had heard earlier."

He licked his lips nervously. There was no going back, was there?

"They had shot him like some animal. He must have been terrified, being chased through the woods like that." He paused, lost in thought. "He was all alone when he died."

"Eventually, we will all die. And we will all be alone. There's nobody who will guide us, nobody who will make that journey with us. We'll all be on our own." Ajax gently stroked his cheek. "We have to savor the time we spend with the ones we love, not mourn the time we lost."

Caden nodded quietly and relaxed in the lion's strong arms, suddenly as tired as never before. He didn't say what was on his mind. He didn't say that he never wanted their time to end.

But it would. Someday, it would.