Animalistic Desires

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The next day, there were two flyers in the mail. One was mostly orange with big, bold letters and a carved out pumpkin in the background. The other one was white, the letters not as big and a red exclamation mark in the background. They had the same size.

Caden carried them inside and sat down at the table. First, he read the white one because it seemed to be more urgent.

How to behave if attacked by a big cat

His breath got caught in his throat.

Due to the recent sightings of another big cat just yesterday we advise the citizens of Willow Creek to stay out of the forest. The animals likely escaped from a circus that was passing through this area-

"What's that?"

Ajax' voice startled him and he dropped the flyer which glided through the air and landed directly in front of Ajax' feet on the ground. The lion bent down to pick it up and read the headline with furrowed brows.

"I thought nobody saw us, there was nobody!" Caden exclaimed stressed. It had been his idea to shift, he had convinced Ajax, and now the whole pride was in danger because of him - again. Ajax sat the shiny paper down on the table top and ran a calming hand through Caden's dishevelled hair.

"Somebody probably saw a deer and freaked out over it," he soothed him and smiled warmly. Caden bit his lip and nodded slowly although he wasn't convinced at all. He felt awful for being so carelessly reckless.

Again there was this dreadful feeling of not belonging here. It seemed that everyone he was involved with ended up in danger somehow and he had to swallow down the sudden panic. Maybe he was never meant to be truly happy, enjoying life without a care in the world. Maybe his existence had been doomed the night his mother had died in the storm. He shivered when he recalled all those dreams of drowning.

"How about we go to that autumn festival?" Ajax suggested, holding up the less threatening orange flyer. Caden nodded meekly although he just wanted to bury himself in bed and never come out again. Ajax emitted a low rumble from deep within his chest and bent down to kiss Caden on the forehead.

"Stop worrying."

Caden wondered when life had become so difficult. Sometime during the last months earth probably shifted on its axis and now everything was a jumbled mess. He wanted back the times when his only worry had been if he had enough books to last for the long winter up in the mountains. Or if he had hidden the sweets good enough so Michael wouldn't find them. To be honest, he wanted his childhood back, those sheltered years of blissful ignorance.

He rose from the chair and threw the white flyer into the trash can. His face was reflected by the shiny surface of the kitchen cabinets and like always he paused and it took him a moment to realize that, yes, it was him. His face had lost its childish roundness, had become more sharp and defined as if it needed protection from the world around it. Edges and thorns to hurt everyone who came too close. And somehow it hurt him to know that he couldn't undo the change. Life didn't grant second chances.

He tried to smile with those thin lips but it was wobbly and more like a grimace, showed off too much teeth and didn't reach his eyes. Abruptly he turned away from his reflection and found Ajax staring at him.

Many people would have averted their eyes as soon as they got caught however Ajax didn't. He didn't even seem to be embarrassed, just looked at Caden calmly.

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