❇️Pride❇️ - A Lams College AU

❇️8 - Jealous Bean❇️

❇️️Alexander Hamilton❇️

I arrived home at 3AM that morning. I opened the door slowly and hoped that John wasn't awake. That would be bad. I hate how he lectures me about being with Jefferson. If only he knew what it was like to be with him. I finally felt loved! I thought he would support me as usual but he was different. I didn't know why. Maybe he's jealous that I'm with someone when he isn't.

I closed the door slowly and turned around to face the house. John was standing in front of me. I jumped.

"Jesus, John, you scared me!" I complained.

"I need to talk to you, Alex."

He didn't call me "little lion" anymore. That was his nickname for me that no one else used. And it was gone.

"Why do you suddenly care?"

"What? —Whatever. Come on. I need to ask you some things." He grabbed my arm and took me to the couch. I groaned.

We sat down, and I was immediately complaining.

"John, I'm really fucking tired right now. Can't we talk in the morning?" I asked with a yawn.

"No. We're talking. Now."

I sighed, "What?" 

He readjusted his seat and looked at me, "Do you truly love Jefferson?"

What? What does he mean?

"Of course I do! Can I go to bed now?"

"No, we're not done here." He said, "Why do you love Jefferson?

I gave him a cold look, "Why is this your business?"

"Look, Alex, just answer truthfully. Please."

I groaned, "I love him for a lot of things, okay? He makes me feel like him finally loved! I've always wanted that and it's finally happening! Aren't you proud of me?"

His eyes widened, "Do you really think I'm fucking proud of you!?" He paused, "You're dating someone you don't even know! You let him manipulate you into thinking he loves you! Why is that something to be proud of? You got together after a fucking night! How do you even know if he's the one for you!? I—"

I cut him off, "I don't know if he's the one! But I at least want to experience what it's like to be in a relationship so I'm ready for the right person!"

"This isn't what a relationship is like, Alex! Open you're eyes!"

"JUST SHUT UP!" I screamed.

I stunned him into silence.

As I began to tear up, I said, "You act like you're controlling my life or something. You don't tell me how I live my life! I'm not a child, and you're not my parent! So stop trying to control me! For once!" I was sobbing by now.

God, this is so embarrassing. But it felt good to say all that.

"...Alex." He was on the verge of tears, "I didn't mean to—"

I stood up, attempting to wipe away my tears, "I don't want to hear it, asshole."

I walked off to the bedroom.

I didn't mean to call him an asshole.

God, why did I say that!? Now he probably thinks I hate him!

I don't hate John. He's my best friend. But I'm just really upset with him right now.

I fell face first into my bed and began to sob again.

I want to die.

-

Oh

That just happened.

Oh well.

-Kitty