:John Laurens:
Things were starting to get...different between Alex and I.
Let me start over.
I was being different towards Alex.
And you know why?
I didn't know why at first but now I know. The more I thought about it, the more I got a better understanding of it.
I was fucking lovesick. And all because of Alex.
He was beginning to be the only thing on my mind. I wanted to talk about him all the time, I wanted to be near him all the time, I wanted to talk to him all the time...
It was crazy. For me, at least. I was just hoping that Alex wouldn't notice anything! Because that would be awkward...
You know...I have NEVER felt like this towards ANYONE before in my life. I've had five or six different lovers in the past but I had never felt this sort of longing and desperation towards any of them. And I'm not even with Alex!
I love him so fucking much. And I mean it.
It's so crazy to think that one simple crush can turn into something as big as this. It was insane to think about.
But whatever. None of my undying feelings for Alex matter right now. He's with Jefferson, not me. And there's nothing I can really do about it.
I hate Jefferson so much.
He doesn't deserve someone as small and cute and funny and smart and handsome and amazing and talented and beautiful as Alex. Not even me. He deserves the best. Maybe that's why he isn't with me.
Oh, apologies. I forgot to mention hot and adorable and sweet and cuddly and independent and courageous and—
I'm just gonna stop there. There are too many positive words to describe Alex.
And I doubt Jefferson notices any of it.
If I was in a relationship with Alex, I would actually comment on all the things I love about him. I would always show him how much I love him, through words or not. I would kiss him and hold him and just simply...love him.
Jefferson doesn't do any of that.
So why is Alex with him? Why?
If I asked Alex that, he would reply with "Because he makes me feel loved"
But I would make him feel loved. Why can't he see that? And what can I do to make him see it?
YOU ARE READING
❇️Pride❇️ - A Lams College AU
Fanfiction(HAHA HOW ORIGINAL LMAO) Long-distance relationship are always hard: The constant feeling you get in your chest that's just longing to see the other person. The lonely feeling you experience for a long period of time. The realization that you may n...
