Heartbreak Hotline

BONUS 7: ❝shakespeare❞

Key

Italics || James

Bold || London

❝I need your help.❞

❝Uh, hi to you too.❞

❝Sorry. It's just...I have a lot on my mind lately and was wondering if maybe you could help me out.❞

❝Yeah, sure. What's going on?❞

❝Well you won Delilah over with your poems.❞

❝Thank God! If I couldn't write like that, she'd probably never go out with me!❞

❝Well guess what, James? I actually have a date.❞

❝You do? Aye! Congrats London! Do I know her? Is she from school?❞

❝No.❞

❝Oh so did you meet her at an out of school activity? Church? ❞

❝Well...it's complicated actually. You see-❞

❝You didn't meet her at the club did you? I know a few guys who picked up girls from the club and those girls played them like a violin.❞

❝Was that music reference on purpose or?❞

❝Coincidence actually.❞

❝Oh.❞

❝But either way, how'd you meet?❞

❝It's complicated. I'll explain that later. That's beside the point.❞

❝Alright. But if she's from the club, just know I'll be keeping a close eye on her. Those girls are known to steal wallets, kisses, and trick you into doing crazy things. Those Jezebels...❞

❝James, she's a good girl and no, I didn't get her from the club. Plus, not all girls that go to the club fit that stereotype.❞

❝True.❞

❝Besides, who do you know that goes to the club? You can't get in unless you're twenty one.❞

❝London, people have fake IDs. They get in all the time. I hear stories at school like everyday. You know that Brendon McKenzie guy? ❞

❝Yeah, the football player? He's in one of my classes.❞

❝Yeah, him. Well he went in on a bundle deal with a bunch of other guys. I guess they got discounted IDs or something when they did them all together. Either way, guess he went and partied at the club and some girl stole his credit card mid-makeout session.❞

❝How do you even know this?❞

❝I hear things bro. Guess he didn't notice until the next day after the bank called him. She was trying to rake up hundreds of dollars from a makeup store.❞

❝Yikes. Guess that relationship didn't go far.❞

❝Well that's the thing. McKenzie doesn't do relationships. Only sticks around for the fun part. Guess it really backfired on him this time.❞

❝You don't say. But either way, you think you can help me become Shakespeare? I want to write her a poem but I absolutely suck at writing.❞

❝Oh, that's what you called for? Yeah, I can help you out! So you want to woo your lady?❞

❝That is the weirdest way to word it. Like ever.❞

❝You know what I meant.❞

❝But seriously. What did you do when you wrote to Delilah? What's your method?❞

❝Most of the time, I thought about food and applied the words to her afterwords.❞

❝I have no idea what that even means.❞

❝Well there was this one poem where I thought about a Big Mac and I just began writing and it actually came out pretty good. I'll have to show it to you someday.❞

❝And you gave that one to her?❞

❝Yeah. It was actually one of her favorite ones!❞

❝About a Big Mac? How in the world did you get a girl with a poem about a Big Mac?❞

❝It wasn't about a Big Mac. It's more like my writing was fueled by good food. ❞

❝Or artery cloggers. Any other advice other than thinking about food?❞

❝Well London, I can't really tell you how to write poetry. It just happens and that's how it's supposed to be. Everyone writes differently and has a different style.❞

❝So what do you suggest for someone who can't even make a Dr. Seuss rhyme? Because I'm hopeless. And I just want to do something nice for her.❞

❝The only advice I can tell you is to focus on the things you love about her and just let your heart do the talking. Or your stomach. Whichever inspires you the most.❞

❝No offense, but I still feel stuck in the same place. She's so awesome and adorable and smart and here I am like a dumb potato thinking a girl like her could ever like someone like me. And now I'm going on a date and I'm freaking out! Like fre-❞

❝London, chill man. If she's going to like you, she's going to like you for who you are. Not for what you do. You don't have to write poetry for her to like you. Just show her that you care.❞

❝But how? I want to be the romantic guy that gives her mystery and makes her life a life a little more adventurous. But if I can't even form a stanza, how can I do that?❞

❝Do you want an honest answer?❞

❝Yes.❞

❝Get her food. Girls like food as much as we do.❞

❝Back to food again? Really?❞

❝It always works. I promise. Just try it, London. Girls don't always want extravagant things you know. Some settle for pizza and kisses on the couch.❞

❝That's a bad idea, but fine. I'll try it. But if it doesn't work then I'm coming over and you're going to give me a poetry lesson.❞

❝Oh really? So now this is a bet?❞

❝You bet it is, Shakespeare.❞

©Lightning_Stryker 2019