The summer we turned thirteen (Published)

Chapter forty-one: Finding brave

James

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"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I yelled at myself angrily.

I was sitting on my bed, thinking about the conversation Harlee and I had just had. I could not believe how poorly I'd handled the situation.

I made her cry!

How could I have been so stupid?

Why didn't I just tell her the truth??

I threw my head back in fury, forgetting there was a wooden headboard

behind me.

My head smacked against it.

Hard.

The pain made me even more furious.

I started taking my anger out on my room.

I yanked the comforter from my bed and tossed it behind me.

I flipped my mattress over toppling it onto my nightstand.

I pulled some of my drawers out and dumped them onto the carpet.

Perhaps I was being melodramatic, or perhaps it was hormones, I didn't know. I just knew I was angry and needed to release the rage inside me.

"James!" a female voice called out to me.

I dropped the drawer I'd been about to dump out to see a gaping Lizzie

standing in my doorway. Confusion, concern, and shock were all written on her countenance.

Tired out from my meltdown, I sighed and sank to the floor.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

She continued staring at me as if I was a stranger in the house.

"Um, to know why you're tearing your room apart?" she said.

I rolled my eyes at that. "Like you care."

She folded her arms and entered the room cautiously. "Hey, I care, okay?"

"No, you don't! Stop trying to act like you do all of a sudden. You've never been anything, but mean to me!" I shouted at her.

Lizzie didn't defend herself, surprisingly. She just nodded her head and said to me, "I know, and I'm owning up to it. Because I'm genuinely sorry."

I didn't know what to say to that.

Lizzie? Apologizing? This must be some kind of false reality, I thought.

"Yeah, right," I replied skeptically.

"I am," she persisted, taking a seat beside me on the floor.

"That's why I have been trying to be nice to you lately."

"Because you feel guilty?" I scoffed.

"Well yeah, and 'cause..." she sighed. "I'll be a senior this year, and then it's off to college. And I don't want your only memories of me to be bad ones. I haven't always been the best sister, and I want to try to be from now on."

Her admission left me speechless for a second. Lizzie expressing authentic remorse for her actions was so out of character for her. But since she was genuinely apologetic, I knew it was only fair I apologized too.

"Thanks," I found my voice. "And I'm sorry for all the times I've been a jerk to you."

She nodded.

"But don't worry," I went on.