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chapter song steve lacy: dark red "something bad is 'bout to happen to me / i don't know but i feel it coming"
1985
It was funny how El knew her bandmates like the back of her hand. Jude liked one big marshmallow in his hot chocolate, that was the first thing she learned about him. Ezra hated cheese on his eggs, but El would put loads on his plate anyway just to piss him off, displaying the finest act of sisterly love possible with a smile. Del liked to be alone when she was upset or angry, but never really alone. She didn't want anyone to bother her, but being alone in her house with no one to listen to but that festering, obnoxious voice in her head drove her into a spiral. El knew this of her band mate, and that's how she ended up at The Rainbow.
El's presence could always be felt before she was seen. There was just... an energy about her. No one could ever quite put their finger on it, but everyone always knew when she was near, their eyes trained and searching for her, so it was no surprise that everyone averted their eyes to her when she walked through the bar doors. It was nice to know she could still captivate the attention of a room, both for her ego and peace of mind. Del rolled her eyes at the sight of El, turning back to face the bar and groaning into the slimy air of the room. El approached her anyway, not caring if her presence annoyed her.
"It's 9:15 on a Wednesday night," El noted, "what are you doing here?"
"Getting drunk with all the other rockstars," Del waved her glass around to the fellow musicians sat at various tables. "What are you doing here?"
"Came to talk to you about your status as a rockstar," El huffed as she sat on the stool next to Del.
"Everly!" Kim, one of the bartenders, sang with a smile. "Long time, no see! Whatcha drinkin'?"
"Kim, hey," El smiled quickly, "just water, please." A glass of ice water was placed in front of El and she began to stir it with a straw, anticipating whatever words were about to be exchanged between her and Del.
"If you're gonna kick me out of the band, just do it," Del continued looking straight ahead, not having the strength to look El in the eye.
El laughed in disbelief. "Kick you out? Are you crazy?" She swiped Del's cigarette and placed it between her own lips as she continued to laugh. "I don't want to kick you out, stupid. I want to know what your fuckin' problem is."
"I don't have a problem."
"You've bitched for months about getting back in the studio and when we finally start making the effort, you run out and say you need time to think," El ashed her cigarette before passing it back to Del.
"I don't know how to explain it without sounding stupid," Del said quietly, the feelings of insecurity and vulnerability foreign to her.
"I can assure you that you will sound stupid no matter what you say," El replied, causing Del to jab her in the stomach while El just laughed.
