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*Indigo

As y'all know it's been a month since the trip and let me tell you shits been weird. I've been catching myself thinking and dreaming about Amari more than usual. I started to remember certain things I didn't remember before. Like Amari told me when we first meet we meet at a party. Then I slowly started to vividly remember that night.
T and Zoe basically dragged me to this party that night. I saw Amari getting dragged by some dude, she was telling him NO! but he was still dragging her. I decided to step in and fake like her best friend so he could let her go. He didn't let her go so I hit him and knocked him out. We tried calling her friend but she didn't answer, later we found out she was at a dick appointment. I invited Amari to my house so she can be more safe.

I remember Amari full name which is Amari Imani Shae Rose. I remember she's a Libra, her birthday is October 13, and her favorite color is Pink. I also remember our very first kiss.

*First kiss*

We were just at my house chilling watching tv. I turned to look at Amari she was sooo into the movie but I wanted to mess with her. The movie finally went on break. I threw a pillow and hit her in the head.

"Asshole..." she said wrapping me back with the pillow

Before I knew it we was having a whole fucking pillow fight. I guess she got tired of pillow fighting cuz she just jumped on me and we started play fighting. She grabbed my arm and I was tryna get out her grip which made us roll off the couch to the floor. We continued play fighting until I got tired I pinned her down on the floor. We was both breathing heavy. She was still laughing.
I looked at her then I looked at her lips. She licked them then looked at me and I looked back up at her.

"What??" She asked with a smile still breathing a little heavy

I didn't say anything, just kissed her
I can tell at first she was shocked but she finally started kissing back. After a while of kissing we heard her phone ring which caused us to stop.

"Shit..." she said slick rolling her eyes

I got off her and she got up to get her phone. She was on the phone for a good 3 minutes. She finally hung up.

"Sorry but I gotta leave, I had a call
in..." she said before grabbing her stuff
so I walked her to the door
"I'll see ya later..." she said turning towards me

"Today??" I asked

"If you want..." she says

"I'll like that..." I said making her blush as she walked off

"Little one..." I called out to her

"Huh??" she asked before stopping and turning back around

"Come here..." I said while using finger

She walked back to the door.

"Yes Papa..." she said looking at me smiling

I grabbed her face and brought her face to mine. I tongued her down right there. Then I pulled away.

"See you later..." I said pecking her lips one more time

She bit her lip and waved bye

*End*

This shit is fucked up cuz how can I remember now when I could've remembered before. I slicked fucked everything up, now my memory is coming back. I just feel like I'm cursed or something. I feel like I lost something good. Every time I remember something about her it just feels like a piece of me is gone. But now I can never get her back because she's with Sanjay. I see the way they look at each other, I can feel the sexual tension between them, and they spend a lot of time together. I know by now they're in a relationship or close into getting into one.
It's just crazy in the beginning I thought Amari was lying to me. I thought she just wanted to be with me. I thought she was delusional and insane but that wasn't the case. She was telling the truth, she never lied to me, and I didn't even try to look into the facts I just went with what mom thought instead of following my own mind. Shit sucks 😞

On the other hand Dawn has been here with me but I don't feel comfortable talking about what I feel to her. I would talk to T but she has been very busy lately and doesn't have time. Dawn wants me to be more open with her about what I feel but I just can't pull myself to do it. It's like something is keeping me from doing that. One thing my grandma always told me was never question your intuition and I'm never doing that. Don't get me wrong Dawn a cool girl to be around it's just I'm not that comfortable with her yet.

Currently Dawn and I are both sitting on my couch on our phones. Today had been a boring day so far and it's nothing to do. We've been chilling in my house all day watching movies, playing games and on our phones. Right now it's like 7:50.

"Are you bored??" Dawn asked

"Yeah..." I said still in my phone

"You wanna go to Walmart with me and get some to eat??" She asked looking at me

"Why not, ain't shit else to do..." I said standing up putting my phone in my pocket

She got up grabbed her keys and stuff then we headed out the door. We got in her car, she put on some music and we pulled off. It took us 20 minutes to get to Walmart, we drove around the parking lot 5 minutes until we found a decent parking spot. We parked and got out. While we walked up I seen Mari and Sanjay walking out with a 2 baskets full of stuff. They ain't see me but I seen them. I seen house items in there baskets like blinds, pillows and other things. Umm, somebody must gotta new place. I pulled out my phone she texted T.

Me: Who gotta new place??

I put my phone back in my pocket as we walked in. She grabbed a basket and started going through isle I guess getting what she need. I heard my phone ding meaning I got a text. I pulled my phone out and seen T texted back.

Dawg👌🏽: What you talm bout??

Me: I just seen Mari and Sanjay coming out of Walmart with blinds and all types of house items

Dawg👌🏽: Oh, today Mari moves into her house

Me: Oh when she get a house??

Dawg👌🏽: She found it 2 weeks ago but she moved in today

"Indigo..." I heard Dawn say my name

I looked up she was at the other end of the isle. I was so busy texting T I didn't even know Dawn moved. I walked to where she was.

Me: oh & Do you have to work tomorrow??

Dawg👌🏽: Yeah but I get off early.. why??

Me: I need to talk...

Dawg👌🏽: Alright I got you after work...

I put my phone in my pocket and followed Dawn as she got the rest of the stuff she needed then we headed to the register. She checked out, paid, then we headed to the car. I helped put her things in the car and we headed to get some food.

"What you gotta taste for??" Dawn asked me stopping at a red light

"Wings but they close, soooo I guess Raising Canes..." I said getting out my phone

"Okay..." she said pulling off once the light turned green

We went into Raising Canes, ordered our food, got our food and headed to the car. Dawn dropped me off at home and she went home. When I got in the house I sat in the couch, ate my food and watched tv. When I was done I threw away all my trash and cut off everything downstairs. I went upstairs hopped in the shower and got in my bed. I scrolled through social media for a while then I put my phone down, turned on Family guy and went to sleep.

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