Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

My Birthday..

Today is my birthday, october 16th, and I asked to be completely alone all day but id be in the indoor garden if I was needed. I don't know if Obi remembers its my birthday or not but he agreed to my request. My last birthday i had was with my family back in my old home.. mother made me a cake like every year then smashed it in my face when I wasnt expecting it.. i sort of miss those days sometimes..
Today has been a sad day for a while but I went on like normal. I went to see Buck at the backsmiths 'cave' then took a few books from the library around lunch time and went back to the indoor garden. It's so cold this time of year that all the grass outside has died but the only place I can find comfort are around flowers and things. It reminded me of the herb garden where Zen and i always went while I was with him in Clarines.
I studied for hours before I received ton of letters from Zen back home. He said he would write me everyday for a month then send the letters and here it is.. I stopped all my studying to read these notes. I had my quilt laid out on the hard floor with books around me then this beautiful stack of letters.. i started from the beginning and read them all carefully. It took me an entire hour to read them all and I had cried for most of it. This is the best birthday present I could of asked for. It made me wonder if I should find Obi now but he might be busy with something else..
"Y/n! What are you doing here all alone on your birthday?" Rona shouted at the door and had Eugena by her side. Im not sure how they found out it was my birthday today though. I turned to them with a smile and wiped my last tear that was brave enough to fall.
"Oh no, Obi said you might cry if you read the letters prince Zen sent.." Eugena said and looked so worried for me.
"Im not sad though, i just really miss him today" i told them with a smile as they walked to me then sat down next to me on the quilt.
"What is Zen like? Is he really someone so deserving of your tears?" Rona asked as the two looked at the first letter Zen wrote.
"Hes worth waiting 6 months to see again.." i told them as I softened my smile while looking around us at my mess. "He saved me when I was running from Alfin and he's taught me what life really is like. He's taught me how to love anyone other than my family.." i told them and felt so happy.
"Father said you'll be going to Clarines for a marriage meeting in December with him.. He said you want to go back there and stay forever.." Eugena told me with a lowered head and frown.
"I do.. All I want is to be with Zen but it doesnt matter where we're at.. And besides, I can always come back to visit you two.." i told them softly and watched the two of them read over my letters before looking back at me.
"He misses you so much too.. You both must love each other a lot, this must be hard.." Rona said and looked a little sad.
"Its okay, we'll see each other soon and I still have his pocket watch" i told them with a bright smile and showed them the watch.
"Obi said that was Zen's when we asked why you wore it all the time.. But why is it cracked?" Eugena asked as they looked from the watch back to me.
"O-Oh, well in Alfin at my family's funeral, Dominic caught my house on fire so I ran in to grab some things but broke the the glass in the process.." i sighed and still felt guilty.
"What? Why would he try to burn your home down?" Rona asked in confusion.
"Because he didn't like me much. Some people are just bad and there's not much you can do to help them especially if they have the kind of power we do which is why its so important that I show you what its like to be apart of the towns people. Being raised alone in a castle isn't so fun so I wanted you two to see what its like outside for a change" i told them with a proud smile.
"You weren't exactly raised in town either though.." Eugena muttered while i laughed.
"No but my family lived as if we did. Since I've been to Clarines I've learned so much too. Zen and my other friends taught me how nice it was to get out for a change and experience things for yourself instead of watching others or reading about it" i told them as i gathered up my letters in order and tied them back together in a stack.
"Wow.. So you must really want to go back then.." Rona muttered.
"More than anything.." i sighed, "Clarines is my home but ill always come back to see you guys, I promise" i told them with a smile and gave them short hugs.
"Will you be out here for the rest of the evening?" Eugena asked as i set a book on top of my lap.
"Yep, I've got to study hard to be the best i can. I promised I wouldn't let the kingdom down so ill keep working for a while" I said smiling.
"Alright.. Well, we're going back inside for a while and will see you at dinner" Rona said as her and Eugena stood up.
"Okay, be careful on your way back!" I shouted and watched as they left.
I got back to studying soon after they left but I couldn't really focus. My mind was racing with the words Zen wrote me. He told me in every letter that he missed me. He said how much he missed seeing me sitting at his window in his office or seeing me walking around outside while he's working. I miss him so much too. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it.
I began to look back over the notes.. then noticed something strange. In some of the notes, the first letter wasn't capitalized and in others it was.. So I began to piece them together.. And I found that all the first upper cased letters in his notes spelled out 'happy birthday'.. only he would be clever enough to do something like this. Happy tears filled my eyes as i read these again.
I sighed as i rested my head on my arm and laid on my stomach looking at these letters happily. "Only you would do something as clever as this.. I miss you, Zen.." i said to myself as I wiped my eyes free of tears.
"I missed you too, Y/n.." suddenly Zen's voice rang behind me and the door shut.
My heart suddenly stopped when i heard that voice. It couldn't be Zen but it sounds just like him. Am I imagining this? I slowly sat up with a weird feeling in my stomach before slowly turning head to the door where I heard that voice.
There he is.. Zen really did come find me first..
"Why are you here alone? I thought Obi was supposed to be with you everywhere" Zen asked with a smile. All our friends including Obi stood behind him.
"Zen.." i whispered with watering eyes before quickly getting to my feet and ran right into his open arms. "I-I thought I wouldn't see you till December!.. Thank you for your letters.." i told him with a soft smile and felt so happy I didnt know what to do with myself. I felt like maybe I should scream out or just be quiet and try to take it in.
"Yours too.. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.." he whispered back with a little smile as he rested his hand on my cheek and gently wiped my tears.
"You did but I forgive you.." i muttered before he left out a soft laugh.
"Its been a while since we've seen you and Obi again. We were almost starting to miss you two" Mitsuhide chuckled as the others gather around Zen and i.
"How sweet.." Obi rolled his eyes while shirayuki giggled.
"What have you been doing in here all alone?" Kiki asked and looked at my quilt, books, and letters from Zen.
"Studying for the most part" i told them with a quite giggle as i left Zen's arms to pick up my things.
"How often are you in here like this?" Zen asked and picked up my books while I grabbed everything else.
"She's here everyday studying after coming from the blacksmiths" Obi told them with a sigh.
"You must be working hard then. Good for you" Mitsuhide told me proudly with a smile as we all walked out back into the cold weather to the castle.
"Youre not working too hard are you?" Zen asked and quickly looked at my hands for cuts or scraps from my blacksmithing work.
"Maybe a few paper cuts here and there but its not too bad" I giggled and teased.
"Zen's been growing grey hairs worrying about you so much" kiki told me with a little grin as we got inside to the warmth.
"No, im alright. I still have my time limit after all" i said with a smile.
"Shes decided to do her best not to worry the master while they're apart which is why she gives herself a limited amout of time in the blacksmiths shop" obi told them with a grin just to mess with me.. so i tripped him. I slid my foot under his and made him stumble forward a bit. "Hey!" He shouted back at me.
"You were asking for it" shirayuki giggled and helped obi straighten up.
"Youre lucky Im not telling them where we went in town the other day" i smirked and held my chin high as we reached my bedroom. I set everything just barely inside the door before starting my walk with them again.
"Now you've got us all curious, princess" Mitsuhide chuckled.
"Princess?" I glared.
"This is what you get for always using titles before, highness" Zen grinned.
"You dont even have to say my title.." i muttered and rubbed my forehead.
"Y/n! Y/n! I think theres a carriage outside from Clarines! Come look!" Rona was shouted from the hall we were about to turn on to.
"Oh really? I wonder who it could be" obi said with a short eye roll as rona and Eugena suddenly bumped right into Zen.
"Ow!" The twins shouted and covered their heads.
"Are you three okay?" I asked with a giggle as I looked from Zen to my siblings.
"Oh.." Eugena muttered as he and rona finally saw who was in front of them.
"Are you prince Zen by any chance?" Rona asked and gave zen a long hard look.
"You cant tell my his confidence, princess?" Mitsuhide asked from beside us while zen glared and I giggled.
"Shirayuki is back too!" Eugena shouted as shirayuki got to hug him.
"We've heard a lot about you Zen.." rona said with narrowed eyes and walked a tight circle around him just to check to see if he was okay.
"Rona.." i muttered and felt a little embarrassed by her actions.
"What do ya think about him, princess? Do you think he's really worthy of Y/n's hand?" Obi asked and was just messing with us again.
"Obi!.." Zen whisper shouted as the two of us grew bright blushes.
"I dont know.. I suppose I'll have to keep my eyes on you then, Prince Zen of Clarines.." rona said suspiciously. Mitsuhide cracked up after hearing that and kiki looked amused too.
"Princess, did you know they've kissed before too?" Shirayuki asked grinning ear to ear.
"Shirayuki!.." i whispered as my body suddenly tingled and burned.
"What?!" Rona shouted and looked mad for some reason.
"Uh oh.." kiki whispered and tried to hold back her laughter.
"And they hold hands and go on dates too!" Obi shouted next with a wide grin.
"Y/n, you didnt say you were that close.." Eugena whispered to me.
"A-Arent you moving a bit fast? You said you were just going to have a marriage meeting in December! Not all this before then!" Rona asked and pulled me away a little.
"Rona-" i began but raji suddenly came up from behind and hushed her.
"Will you mind your manners, rona?.." raji asked and and slapped her mouth shut.
"Nice to see tou again, raji" Zen greeted smiling. They haven't talked since that day i was poisoned but it looks like Zen is turning a new leaf.
"You as well, zen" raji said and couldnt look at Zen. He must be nervous. "Y/n, your father has just arrived from the Lions of the Mountain but he'll only be here for a few hours." Raji told me. My eyes widened a little when i heard that. Dad came to see me? We haven't talked since I got that letter from him, this is a bit unexpected.
"Oh no.." i whispersd and I realized why he was probably here.
"Is something wrong?.." Zen asked and stood next to my side.
"Yes.." i sighed, "but i can't avoid it. Can you show us the way, raji?" I asked. He nodded then began our short walk.
"Whats wrong primcess? Is something going to happen?" Kiki asked grinning because she knew I didn't like my title.
"It might.." i sighed and lightly pressed my hand over Zen's watch being covered by the fabric of my dress. This watch is like .y safely blanket when I'm feeling stressed of scared.
Zen suddenly took my hand as we walked. I missed this so much.. i held his hand with a tight grip and wouldn't dare let him go till i had to. We all turned into a big room with a few counches, a table and other little things around the room. There was a cake on the table and two gifts wrapped next to it then dad stood by with a smile.
"Hows my little princess doing?" Dad asked with a happy smile and was teasing.
"Stop with the titles, i hate them" i sighed as dad pulled me in for a hug.
"Yeah, I figured" he chuckled and rubbed my head which completely messed up my hiar so I had to take my hair pin out then replace it back. I never did stop wearing my hair pin after that ball. I was always reminded of Zen with about everything I did and saw so I kept that stuff close to me.
"How have you been, old man?" Zen asked smiling and shook dads hand. Raji, rona, and Eugena all looked shocked that Zen called my dad by that name but I've heard it before. Its quite fitting. I giggled after hearing that again.
"I see youre still as bold as ever, prince" dad chuckled. "And obi, I hope you're doing good things over here" dad said and turned to face him.
"Yeah right, all she does is study! We don't do anything fun anymore" he complained with a bright smile and looked so excited to see dad again.
"What? Have you stopped your training?!" Dad suddenly shouted at me. I tensed up real quickly with wide eyes.
"I-I uh, well, you see-" i stuttered and was trying to think of an excuse why I hadn't been fighting since I got here. I guess it totally slipped my mind all this time!
"Really? You and obi arent sparing every day?" Mitsuhide asked in shock.
"I think im gonna take away your princess duties if you dont get on top of things soon" dad told me with his hands on his hips and was pretending to be serious.
"Shut up, dad" i sighed and put my hands over my face while he laughed.
"Its nice to see you again Raji but I dont think I've seen the two of you since you were babies" dad said to rona and Eugena.
"Really?" Eugena asked in surprise.
"Of course! We're part of the same family too believe it or not" he chuckled and pulled them in for a tight hug. I dont think either of them were ready for that. I think all of my siblings see him as some kind of stupid foreign guy but I'm sure they'll like him soon enough.
"How has hiding been?" Shirayuki asked as we all sat down. I sat next to Zen on one couch, dad was in front of us on another then everyone else sat or stood where they wanted.
"Interesting. Y'know, I think I know your father" dad stopped and stared at shirayuki a little harder.
"What?.." she asked and looked a a little shocked.
"Yeah, brown hair, a few scars. He said your grandparents own a bar somewhere around here" dad explained.
"Thats right.." obi muttered and looked at shirayuki.
"..it's the chief right?" I asked and suddenly caught everyones attention.
"Howd you know that?" Dad sighed for stealing his thunder.
"He told me about how his daughter left tanbarun around the time I met shirayuki" i shrugged and grinned.
"When did he say that?" Zen asked me with a short chuckle.
"When i first found him in the forest. He was walking me to the village" i smiled.
"I thought he was probably still alive.." shirayuki muttered while smiling to herself.
"Do you want to go see him?" Rona asked and looked a little tired. I guess it is sort of late by now.
"Yes but he'll have to wait a while" shirayuki giggled.
"He doesn't have to, we can go if you want. It shouldn't take too long to get there by horse back" i said smiling and yawned to myself.
"Wh-What? No, I cant go find him! I'm with you now and besides, i-i haven't seen him since I was a baby so-" she ranted to me and seemed a little flustered.
"Really, shirayuki. Going on a trip all together would be fun anyway and finding your dad would be an added bonus" i told her happily and felt a light squeeze on my hand from Zen. I looked over to him finding him smiling and looking so proud of me for some reason.
"But-.." she began before looking down.
"You guys must be here for a while anyway. I could take you back tonight if you'd like" dad asked with a little grin, "and besides, he'll be dying to meet obi" dad smirked suddenly. Everyone laughed seeing Obi's scared expression.
"Good luck, Obi" Zen chuckled.
"Eugena, Raji and I will stay here if you all go. I think it'd be good if Y/n and Obi got away from the castle for a while. They've started to get really sad this month" Rona said and completely ratted us out.
"Sad?" Mitsuhide asked and looked at us.
"Thats why they snuck away to town last week too" Eugena sighed.
"Raji, is this true?.." dad asked him.
"Unfortunately, yes. Theres not much we can do to make them happier beside reaching out to clarines.." Raji admitted with a sigh.
"We werent that bad, were we?.." i whispered to obi. I feel embarrassed again..
"Where in town did you go?.." shirayuki asked obi and held his hand.
"J-Just around.." he stutteded and blushed brighter. I giggled and tried to hide behind Zen so the others won't see it.
"Are you gonna tell us then?" Zen asked and turned to me with a wide smile.
"We went to see shirayuki's grandparents. Obi really missed shirayuki"  i leaned closer to zen while giggling.
"Arent you the charmer?" Kiki asked Obi with a grin.
"I missed you too.." shirayuki muttered to obi and leaned against his side.
Dad sighed and looked around the room with a smile. "I never imagined id see my kids all grown up and in love. Almost brings a man to tears" dad said and shook his head smiling.
I smiled a little bigger and looked up to zen. We did both fall in love with the people thay made us better. I hope dad is proud of us. "Well, if you kids want to go on the trip with me then we must hurry up this party.. Y/n, you know what thay means" dad smirked.
"No!" I shouted and stood up suddenly as dad picked up the cake. This is exactly what I thought was gonna happen! I hadnt let go of Zen's hand either yet and now he was standing with me.
"Whats he doing?.." raji asked in confusion.
"Th-Throw it at raji! Or rona or Eugena! Ive had 18 years of torture, i dont need 19!" I shouted and hid behind zen.
"Prince, unless you want a slice i suggest you leave my daighter now" dad threatened with a big gein.
"Y/n..." Zen whispered and turned around to me, "maybe we should leave a little early.." he suggested and looked back at the door.
"O-Okay" i stuttered quickly with a big smile and squeezed his hand tight before taking off running with him. "Sorry dad!" I shouted as we ran away.
Zen and i ran laughing together down the halls passing maids and other people. "What if he catches us?" Zen shouted as i ran the both of us to my room.
"He can't! Dont worry!" I laughed and pulled him in my room. "We have to be quiet though" i giggled and locked the door behind us.
"Do you think he'll give up?" Zen asked as the two of us sat against the back of rhe door.
"He might but id rather be safe then sorry. There's no way I'm having a face full of cake again this year" i giggled and sat against his side.
"That sounds nice to me" Zen said with a sigh before resting his head on my shoulder. "It looks like you really got comfort here with your new family.." he muttered as i took his hand and held it in my lap.
"Ive tried to but i always end up outside in the gardens for some reason.." i said as i gently rested my cheek again his head.
"Do you really want to go back to the lions of the mountain or is this for shirayuki..?" He asked suddenly.
"To be honest.. i was being selfish." I told him truthfully. "I just want away from here.. i want away from their rules and expectations.. and i hate wearing poofy dresses still.." i grumbled while he chuckled to himself.
"They won't let you wear your normal dresses?" He asked and slowly circled his thumb around the back of my hand.
"No, my deal with the king is that I wore what the maids told me if I could wear my swords too.." i sighed and lowered my shoulders.
"I guess i understand that but you're never in public eyes.." he said in confusion.
"I am.. Obi and i have been tracking down the people who seek in for information about me for fun but its getting boring now.." i confessed to Zen and let my eyes shut.
"Soon you'll be back in clarines. People might still come looking but at least we could find them together again" he chuckled.
"I suppose it is more fun with you since it concers the both of us most times" i giggled before there was a sudden knock.
"Y/n! I dont have the cake anymore!" Dad shouted while I kept my head against Zen's with a giggle.
"And we have to go soon if we really want to get to the camp by tomorrow!" Mitsuhide added as i sighed and finally stood up with Zen.
"Will you ride your own horse or mine this time?" Zen asked with a smile.
"Not sure.." i yawned as he opened the door in front of us. Suddenly a cake was thrown.. and hit zen hit in the face.
"PFFFT- AHAHA!" i burst out into laughter as it slid down his face.
"Oooo, sorry prince.." dad muttered while i was loosing it. I was the only one laughing but I couldn't help it!
"Y/n.." Zen suddenly said with a deep voice and glare. He tighten his grip on my hand and pulled me closer.
"No, n-no! Not funny at all!" I shouted.
"Y/n, go clean him up. I'll get your friends taken care of" dad winked before walking off and letting the door shut.
"Zen?.. i-its really not that bad actually" I told him and was trying not to laugh anymore.
"Really?" Zen asked with a terrifying glare.
"Y-Yes!" I shouted as he snaked his free arm behind my shoulders then pulled my hand down till I got close enough to him that we were almost touching faces.
"So you wouldn't mind if i kissed you?" He smiled but there was so much frosting and cake covering that smirk that I couldn't hold back my laugh. It made him a little frustrated so he kissed me anyway.
"Zen!" I shouted through laughter and tried to pull away but he kept getting more of it all over me!
"There, now we share the look" he said with his hands on his hips and a happy smile.
"Well now we have to clean it and change" i rolled my eyes at him.
"We better hurry then" he chuckled as i took his hand and led him to my bathroom.
"Hold on, let me get this off me first then since you have more" i giggled as i turned on the water then put a rag under it before wiping my face of with it. I had frosting in my hair and stuff but I got it out. "Now you" i said as i begam to wipe his face next. He couldn't hold back a smile as i cleaned him off. He had it in his hair too but i got that out as well.
"What a shame, your poofy dress is dirty, youll have to change now" Zen said sarcastically as i cleaned him off all the way before putting the cloth down.
"Oh darn, i guess ill have to wear comfy clothes now" i sighed before giggling and showing him out. "i haven't worn my favorite one for a while" i smiled as i got in my dresser and pulled out my favorite lavender dress.
"Ill go change as well and meet you in a minute" Zen told me with a smile and went to the door.
"See you soon, prince" i bowed dramatically with a big grin.
"Ill be counting the seconds, princess" he bowed back before opening the door and leaving with a chuckle.
I changed as quickly as i could but I really needed to wash my hair now because of all that frosting so I had to take a quick shower first. Thankfully it only took me a few minutes but everyone was waiting on me now. I hurried out with a small bag of packed clothes, my swords, Zen's watch around my neck, and my hair pin on.
"Did you really shower?" Obi asked as i tried to squeeze out the water in ny hair.
"Zen got frosting in my hair, I had too" i giggled following everyone outside to 5 horses waiting for us. I yawned as i followed Zen where he went tiredly.
"Are you sleepy?" Zen chuckled and helped me on the horse.
"A little bit but im okay" i smiled as he got on behind me. We're so close, i feel like im burning..
"Shirayuki!.." Obi shouted and suddenly caught shirayuki from falling off her horse.
"O-Oops! I'm sorry-" she apologized quickly. She fell asleep sitting up and almost fell off.
You two sure are tired tonight" Mitsuhide chuckled to me and shirayuki.
"Y/n's been studying all day and shirayuki, you must have had a long day too.." obi said with a soft smile before he hopped on behind shirayuki.
"Everyone ready?" Dad asked as i waved goodbye to my sliblings.
"Come back safe!" Eugena shouted to us.
We started our trip from there. Zen held me so tight that it made it hard for me not to fall asleep so.. i fell asleep in his arms. I was out cold but felt so warm with Zen's arms around me.
We rode for a long time into the night. It was close to sunrise when we finally got to the village. No one was really awake but Zen and dad. Dad led us all to the same place we stayed in the first time we were here but I didnt really want to go there.
"Zen, are you tired?.." i asked softly as we held hands and walked with the others to our rooms.
"A little.. Why?" He asked and looked down at me as i leaned on his side.
"Wanna run off for a while?" I asked with a little grin.
"To where? You can barely stay awake!" He laughed as i pulled the two of us away.
"Y/n! Where do you two think you're going?" Dad shouted and noticed us.
"Bye dad!" I shouted happily and walked away with Zen. I didnt really know where I was going and I didnt really care, I just wanted to be alone with zen again.
"You must have had a hard day yesterday, didnt you?.. You're warn out" Zen softly sighed and was looking at me slowly lead the way.
"I was just sad I wouldn't see you till December. I guess i didnt have much energy for a while because of that but youre here now" i smiled as i gently pulled him along with me.
"I was feeling that way too for a while till the king sent a letter asking us to come visit for your birthday" Zen admitted as i took us down a path to an empty clearing where a bench sat looking over the village. I saw this bench the first time i was here but never got to come visit it till now.
"You must have received that letter long before now" i said as i sat down with Zen next to me and tried to cover up with my warm cloak.
"I did.. You've been so strong, even now. You never quit studying or doing what you wanted" he told me as he wrapped and arm around me and pulled me a little closer. He feels so much warmer..
"Till now.." i laughed a little.
"You havent had a real break from that for months, Y/n. You deserve time off for yourself" he told me as i laid my head on his shiulder.
"Thanks.. I suppose I could take a little break for a while as long as youre here.." i said as the two of us watched the sun rise.
"I cant believe we have to wait a whole year till we can be in clarines together again.." Zen sighed as we still kept a hold on each others hand while he kept his other arm around my back.
"I know.." i sighed, "i wish there was a way to hurry things.. Maybe i could come back early before any wedding stuff.." i wondered to him and felt comfortable with him here.
"Y/n, are you sure about marrying so soon?.." Zen asked quietly and seemed hesitant to ask.
"If you aren't then ill wait for as long as you need but I'm more ready than you could imagine.. I just wish we could go back home.." i muttered and looked at our hands held together.
"Things will be different though.. They wont be the same as they were before.. Do you wish they were the same rather than just going back to clarines?.." he asked quietly. I see now.. Hes worried that he thinks I dont actually want to take his hand, he thinks I just want things to go back as they were before.
"No.. I wouldnt trade what we have now for anything.." i reassured him before kissing his cheek with a smile.
"Good.. I wouldnt have it any other way.." he told me as we both looked into each others eyes before slowly leaning in and kissing for a short time before pulling away and looked back to the sunrise...