Same Mistakes

16. Wedding

16. Wedding
Danielle.
It's currently 3am. Last night after my parents left, I tucked Max, Madison and Megan into bed. Megan almost instantly fell asleep, but Max and Madison didn't. Together, they snuck out of bed to come talk to me. They crawled into my bed, where I was texting all my emotions out to Samantha on my iPhone.

Max and Madison started crying, and telling me they were sorry for wanting to meet their Father. They told me they were perfectly happy just having their Grandparents and I in their lives.

Max told me that he doesn't even want a Father anymore. My sweet little boy told me that he loved me so much, and that he never wants to have a Father.

I didn't even know what to say to my kids. They sat on the end of my bed. Just crying. Hugging each other. I just sat at the other end of the bed, holding back my tears. I'm not letting my little children have a Father. Well, its not only my fault. Liam hasn't really made an effort in the last few years.

But you don't even understand how guilty I felt. But I could tell that my babies were lying. Madison especially. She really loved Liam. I don't think that Madison and Max actually remember Liam specifically. I think they might remember having a father-figure in their lives, but they were so young.

I've been thinking a lot since I went to bed last night. I barely got any sleep what-so-ever. I think I've come to a partial conclusion. I don't think I can say I want Liam back in my life. But- I think I might want Liam back in the kids' lives. With some exceptions.

First off, I will not let Liam back into our babies' lives if Liam is still dating Olivia. I don't believe she's a good influence. Second, I want the kids to be older. So they can understand. Third, I want Liam to promise me something. I want him to promise not to ditch the kids. I don't want Liam to become our kids Father again, just to leave. He has to promise he won't leave. I won't hurt the kids like that.

*

When I woke up, the house was dead silent. I shivered, pulling the cozy sheets up to my neck. I can feel winter coming on. I listened for a moment, to see if I could hear Max and Madison's cartoons. Nope. I guess the kids haven't waken up yet. But they were up pretty late last night.

I picked up my charging laptop from beside my bed and put it down in front of me. I lifted the lid, sending the screens bright light into my face. I quickly turned down the brightness, before opening Google. I adjusted the position of the laptop, then began typing. Cochlear Implants for Kids.
Lists of articles immediately popped up. It only took 0.65 seconds to be exact. I took a deep breath, and began scrolling through the articles. I haven't only been thinking about the Liam situation. I've also been considering the Cochlear Implant for Megan. I really want my daughter to live a complete life. I want her to be whatever she wants, and not have anything holding her back. Just like a doctor once told me.

I clicked an article, and began reading.

Sometimes called a "bionic ear," the cochlear implant offers the hope of regaining or restoring the ability to sense sound for some people who have experienced significant hearing loss.

Although they're not miracle devices, cochlear implants help some children and adults, whether they're born deaf or whether hearing loss occurs later in life, experience talking on the phone, listening to music, and hearing the voices of their friends and loved ones.

What Is a Cochlear Implant?

A cochlear implant is a surgically implanted device that helps overcome problems in the inner ear, or cochlea. The cochlea is a snail-shaped, curled tube located in the area of the ear where nerves are contained. Its function is to gather electrical signals from sound vibrations and transmit them to your auditory nerve (or hearing nerve). The hearing nerve then sends these signals to the brain, where they're translated into recognizable sounds.