Broken Heart (Jennie POV)

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It's been a week since the last time I had an argument with lisa. I'm completely  hurt by her unbothered behaviour. She don't even put any effort to coax me. It seems like she don't want to fix our relationship. She don't want me anymore. Us, has gone so bad.

She has changed.

For the past few days I'm hoping for her to make a move, I thought she would regret with whatever she have done to me. But it seems like she doesn't affected by our argument. She ignore me and doesn't even care about my feelings. I'm crush inside. She always be the most sweetest and gentle girlfriend before but somehow something just shifted. Our love isn't the same, I'm so into her while she's not, I never love someone the way I do to her, I never love someone as hard as when I'm with lisa. I give her my all. I still remember when she said that she may be confused with her feelings towards me. I feel terrified. I try to forget her, I get drunk every night just to stop from thinking about her. But my feelings will always be coming back once I'm stable and concious. It hurts me all the time. I'm a whole mess. I cried hard today and the next day I cried even harder. I'm a whole wrecked.

Thankfully irene is always there to help me. She help me to go through my broken condition. I never falling so hard. Now I feel like my soul and body are shattered into pieces. I miss lisa's affection. I miss her touch and her smile. I miss her presence. But she don't care. She is too busy aiming for her dream. To be honest there are times I stalked her, cause I'm desperate wanted to see her face. I'm craving all of her. I feel suffocate without her.

Today I know she'll be leaving the country. I'm so upset, its painful that our relationship ended just like that. We don't even try to fix it, or maybe compromising anything so we can still be together. Honestly I will do anything to fix us but its seems like she's completely done with me. She doesn't approach me anymore.

--

I'm hiding behind the wall in the airport. Silently stalking lisa which is not far away from my spot. She don't know. I keep looking at her face as she is busy having a conversation with seulgi and irene. She looks stable, unlike me. She still can put a smile on her face even after she dump me. My heart crushed. My breath is becoming heavy as soon as I hear the announcement of departure. I'm anxious. I saw her start to hug seulgi and grabbing her backpack. She is ready to leave. I'm scared. Tears started to fall on my face. I want to hug her but I can't. I'm growing panic. It caught me by surprise as she started to look around. I almost get caught peeking at her as she is looking at my direction. Thankfully I hide myself immediately. I take my time calming myself down behind the wall. Few seconds later I peek on her again. She is already at the boarding gates. I started to cry hard as she walked in disappearing out of my sight. How can she be so cold? She so cruel for leaving me all alone. I feel so frustrated by her decision. My knees started to get weak that I kneel behind the wall while sobbing so hard. I can't breathe properly. She's not longer there. She won't be around anymore. This is too hurful and I don't know how to handle it. I'm damaged.

I can feel someone embracing my body. Its irene. "Irene.. i.." I can't utter a words as I cried so hard. I'm suffering. This is too much. I don't think I can bare with the sudden change. I'm sobbing until I get tired. Soon irene and seulgi send me back home.

Few months after that event, I'm struggling to repair my broken self. Its hard. I'm a mess. I drink alcohol every night just to make myself better but I always fall in the loop. I started to blame lisa for messing with my life. I hate her so much. I wish we never met. I wish we never together. Now everytime I think about her. There's only hatred. I swear to god I hope she suffer more than I do.

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