"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
"Wait for it, wait for it" said Jake. The clock reached 9am. "Amy Santiago is officially late for the first time ever. All right, let's do this. Who's got theories?"
"Uh... Alarm didn't go off" guessed Terry.
"All three alarms? All with battery back-up? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?" you asked.
"Ooh! She was taken in her sleep!" Charles said.
"That's what I'm talking about! Super dark, Boyle, but way more plausible than the Sarge's idiotic alarm clock theory" Jake said.
"I bet she tucked herself into bed too tight and got herself stuck" said Rosa, and you laughed.
"Mmm, maybe she fell into another dimension where she's interesting" said Gina.
"What if she was attacked?" you suggested.
"It's 9am. Why is no one working?" Holt asked, walking behind you and the squad.
"Amy Santiago is a few minutes late, and we're all trying to guess why" you answered.
"I'd like to play. I'd say she's in line at the bank. This is fun" said Holt.
"It is fun, but you're all wrong. She clearly slipped through a subway grate and is having terrible sex with a mole man" said Jake.
The elevator dinged, and Amy quickly ran into the bullpen.
"There she is. Amy. Where were you? We've been worried sick. Do you care to explain yourself?" you asked.
"I'm just seventy seconds late. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it" Amy said nervously.
"Santiago, you will tell us, and you will tell us now" Holt said.
"There was a problem at the bank" said Amy.
"Hot damn!" said Holt.
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Jake walked into the courtroom and sat down next to you and Terry.
"Hi" said Jake.
"Hey now" said Terry.
"You're looking very happy" you said.
"I am. Guess what happened last night. Spoiler alert: Sexy times. Okay, now guess" Jake said.
"Sexy times" Terry said.
"Yes! The whole night was amazing. I found our meat loaf. Wings" said Jake.
"The band or the food?" you asked.
"Or the show?" asked Terry.
"The food! We went back to her place, watched Die Hards one through With A Vengeance, did some adult stuff, and spent the rest of the night debating who was the better ping pong player. She was adorably wrong" Jake said.
"How do you know if you didn't play?" Terry asked.
"Oh, we played, which was difficult since she didn't have a table or paddles. We had to use an avocado pit as the ball. It was very messy" said Jake.
Carl walked over. "Hey guys."
"Ah, hello, District Attorney Kurm. I got lucky last night" said Jake happily.
"That's great. So we have a little delay. Gary, the Defense Attorney isn't gonna be here" Carl said.
"Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he got out of jail?" you asked.
"Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate?" asked Terry, and you and Terry high-fived.
"Anyway, Gary broke his leg, so he's being replaced" explained Carl.
"Replaced? He should be put down. Like a horse. So who's the new sub-human piece of human garbage?" Jake asked.
"Sophia Perez" Carl said as Sophia walked in, carrying a coffee in one hand and her phone in the other.
"Oh, God" said Jake.
"Jake, this is bad! You slept with a defense attorney. You literally slept with the enemy" Terry said.
"I know. Ah, it's like if John McClane slept with Hans Gruber. Or even worse, Jeremy Irons from the third one. We didn't talk about our jobs. How was I supposed to know?" asked Jake.
"Uh-oh. She's waving at you" you said.
"Hey" said Jake, waving back. "All right, I'm gonna go talk to her."
"Be strong" Terry said.
Jake stood up, and walked over to where Sophia was sitting.
-------------------
Later, after Jake had talked to the judge and Sophia about Sophia leaving the case, you, Jake and Terry walked back into the courtroom and sat down.
"You nervous?" you asked.
"Nope. I have an umimpeachable eyewitness who saw everything. Plus I've got a little something planned for our lawyer friend. Every time she looks over, I'm gonna hit her with one of these" said Jake, making a kissy face. "It'll reminder her that we kissed, and that's how I get in her head."
"Man. I like it. You want me to flex and make all the buttons and make all the buttons pop off my shirt?" suggested Terry.
"Yes!" Jake said.
"You can do that?" you asked.
"The challenge is keeping the buttons on" admitted Terry.
"Okay, okay, okay, okay" Jake said.
After a while, Sophia was asking questions to Jake's witness. "And you're sure this is the man you saw leaving the store at the time of the diamond heist?" asked Sophia, pointing to her client.
"Nice. 'Diamond heist.' Catching on" said Jake.
"Uh, yeah. That's the guy" said the witness.
"Now, Mr Wells, it says here that you have a 2006 conviction for perjury, is that correct?" asked Sophia.
Perjury means lying under oath, for those of you who don't know.
"Uh... Yeah" the witness said.
"It's okay. I knew about that" Jake said.
"And is Sidney Wells actually your name, or is it Brian Davidson?" asked Sophia.
"Uh-oh. Did not know about that one" Jake said.
"As in the Brian Davidson who is facing fraud charges in New Jersey?" Sophia asked.
The witness nodded. "Yeah."
"Or that. Oh, God - Okay, time to bust out the big guns" said Jake, and made a kissy face meant for Sophia, only Sophia didn't see. "This is bad. Only the judge saw me."
"No further questions, your Honor" said Sophia, winking at Jake as she went to sit down.
