kill for eachother;nate jacobs

chapter 5

i think the hardest part of being so close with nate and knowing him so well is that he's become so predictable. i know what he's going to do. and it may seem like a good thing to some people. but being able to know what he's going to do is scary and honestly overwhelming. i don't want him to hurt anybody. but honestly in the end i just don't want him to hurt himself. that includes him beating a man so badly that he almost died just because maddy lied about being blacked out and i watched nate go on a rampage and he left me in his truck and went to beat the absolute fuck outta that guy. not many people will agree with this but i don't really feel all the badly for tyler. he could've gotten out of the pool,said no to maddy,or at least asked her age. but he didn't, and look what happened because of that. nate shouldn't have hurt him that bad but tyler dug that hole for himself. but what i mean when i say i don't want nate to hurt himself is,he's gonna ruin things for himself. like his fucking career. where's he gonna work or have a career in if he keeps beating on girls? that's gonna bite him in the ass one day. i also know sometimes when he hurts someone so badly,mentally or physically, he breaks down in my arms feeling so out of control with himself. nate hates himself at times. and it makes me sad. no one ever sympathizes for him. no one ever takes a second to think "maybe there is a reason he is so aggressive" "maybe there is a reason he is so angry all the time" "maybe he has issues going on at home". except me of course. everyone just runs their mouth about the "obsessive football team captain who abuses his girlfriend" that's not even what he is. he's the "broken teenage boy who doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and takes it own on other people" no it's not okay to hurt people. no it's not okay to punch someone so many times they almost become lifeless just because you're mad your "girlfriend" or whatever maddy is to him was rumored to have fucked him. no it's not okay to threaten people the way he does. a lot of things he does are not okay. but he usually has a valid reason as to why he's bashing peoples heads in or threatening people. yeah some of the time it's just to save his own ass or
make himsel feel better.but a lot of the time it's him protecting the people he loves. and he doesn't know how to do it in the right ways. so he does it in all the wrong ways. he thought by beating tyler he was "protecting" maddy from a "predator" but he was actually beating a guy he was jealous of and didn't want to let the guy hurt maddy. he had a good reason. his heart was in the right place. even though he got the situation all wrong cause maddy lied to him,he did what he thought he had to do. not that i agree with him for almost killing tyler,but you have to understand that he was trying to protect someone he cared about. and in my book,that's as good as a person can get.  i know nate is a good guy. always will be.
even though under these circumstances,many wouldn't agree. i mean he did beat a guy half to death. but he only did because he thought that guy hurt maddy. nate tried to hide his
anger,aggressiveness,and his wrong doings from me for a long time. never worked though. i'm not an idiot. nate couldn't lie to me even if his life depended on it. he learned that slowly over time. he tries to hide a lot from me because he doesn't want me to think of him in a bad way. truth is,i don't think i'm ever gonna look at him as a "terrible person". his heart has always and will always be in the right place.  and i love that about him. some people like to say he is a physcopath. he's not. i hate when people say something like that about a person they don't actually know. yeah the people in school know he's aggressive. but they don't know why. here's a peice of advice. do not make someone seem to be a terrible person if you don't have actual good reasons as to why they're a bad person. and no,don't say "well he is a bad person because he abuses his girlfriend".  what he does to her is not right. at all. do not abuse a female. but you should see how sweet he is to her. most of the time. when they aren't fighting. i don't know,i just wish people would at least try to understand that nate jacobs isn't a horrible human being. he just,he's troubled. but fuck,we all are. right?

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bailey was laying in the bed
nate wasn't even in the hotel room
she didn't even know where he went
he left and said he'll be back in 20 minutes.
it's been 25.
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eventually he came back
his hands held two 6 pack's of beer,3 bottles of vodka,and a case of baileys fav: mango white claws.
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she looked up and saw him holding all of it
she smiled
he smirked back at her
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he was in the bathroom showering with the door open so they could hear eachother as they were talking

"where did you even get all of that? you're 17."
"fake ID"

she nodded her head
"well damn"
he smiled and she could hear a little laugh
"why'd you get all of this"
"we haven't gotten completely waisted with just eachother for 2 months."
she smiled realizing it has been a while
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nate and bailey used to get absolutely waisted with eachother at least three times a week with eachother in the summer. ever since school started and all the drama with nate at school,they haven't in a while.

it was finally time they did.