Chapter 6- the past (1)

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7 years ago

Last year gramps died and since then mama isn't mama anymore. She is always drunk, gets angry easily and keeps shouting. Papa always saves me and my older twin brother, Antonio Jones. Everyone calls him Tony but I have my own nickname for him. I like to call him Nio and he calls me Ria. Nio, short for Antonio and Ria short for Adrianna. He is my best friend but mama doesn't like that. She said that I don't deserve anyone loving me even after saying that she loves me countless time since I was born. I don't know why she is so angry at me. I miss gramps too but she thinks she is the only one who misses her. It's not like I killed gramps. But that is what mama says. She blames anyone and everyone she sees. But it is only when she is drunk. When she is sober, she is the same old mama I always knew and I know that she loves me just as much as I love her. She hugs me and kisses my head and tells me how much she loves me and Nio. When you are drunk, you don't know what you are doing. That is what happens with mama.

She loves me. Right?

Yesterday, mama was drunk again and got mad at me and Nio because we were laughing loudly when she was suffering because of gramps death. I said sorry as I knew I was being a bad girl because I laughed when I shouldn't be having any fun. She was going to slap me but Nio pushed her hand away which got her really angry. She forced him to go to his room after slapping him which made me really sad because he is my brother and he was getting hurt because he wanted to save me. He reluctantly went to his room after mouthing 'sorry' to me. He shouldn't be sorry about anything. I am the one who should be sorry as he is the one who got hurt because of me. After he left, mama did something I never thought she would do.
She punched me twice on my face causing a burst lip and a bruise to form.
When papa came he got really worried after seeing my face. He took me to the hospital and got my face fixed up. He got really angry at mama and shouted at her and she shouted back.

I was sitting with Nio in his room. He hugged me and tried to calm me down because I was scared of papa being angry. I didn't want him to get angry and punch me like mama. I know he would never do that to me because he is papa and papa is really nice. He is my hero just like Nio.

"I'm scared Nio" I whisper

"Calm down Ria. Papa will scold mama and she will say sorry to you. Everything will be okay. I'm here for you"

"Nio. Why is mama like this?" I ask quietly

"She is just sad. Otherwise, who can't love my baby sis?" He smiled

"I'm just 10 minutes younger than you, you idiot" I playfully glared

"Bad language" he tsked me and then smiled again.

"I'm sorry for leaving you there with mama when I knew she was drunk" he looked really apologetic which made me frown because it wasn't his fault.

"It's not your fault Nio. You only tried to save me. If anything, I should be the one who should be sorry. She slapped you because you were trying to stop her from hurting me. I love you so much Nio and don't be sorry" I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back.

Nio has always been there for me. Many siblings are always annoying each other and fighting even if they love each other. It isn't the same for us though. We do annoy each other but we don't ever fight.

"Kids come down here" I heard papa's voice and went downstairs with Nio.

"Papa" I exclaimed and hugged him. He laughed, hugged me back and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Hey sweety. How is your face?" He asked looking a bit concerned.

"Its fine" I smiled.

"Come here Antonio" he called Nio and hugged him.

"Kids, I have some bad news for you" he looked sad.

"What is it papa?" Nio asked

"I- your mama and I are going to get a divorce. She hasn't been the same since last year. After she punched you Adrianna, that was the last straw. I kn-know you probably don't like it, but you are both going to have to choose who you want to live with. Me or mama. Don't feel any pressure ok. Just tell me who you want. Even if you choose your mama, I will keep visiting you as long as you want me to. Same with if you choose me. I won't stop you from visiting your mama as long as you and your mama are okay with that. I am so sorry babies. I tried to make it work. I-I really tried" Papa finished all the while looking like he is going to cry. Me and Nio hugged him.

After a while papa had to go back to work. I once again sat with Nio and asked him what he thought about the divorce.

"I don't know. I mean I don't like this but lately mama hasn't been treating both of us or papa nicely. She is really angry and sad all the time.  Maybe this will help her and maybe it will be good for all of us" Nio said but I knew he still wasn't sure.

"Nio. Who do you want to choose?" I asked

"I'm not sure. I-i think I'll choose papa but I don't want to just abandon mama. And I also don't want to loose you in the process. You are my baby sister even if you don't like me calling you that. And you are the only one I can open up to. You are my other half and my best friend." He hugged as if he thought that he might loose me just like we lost mama.

"You won't ever loose me Nio. And as much as I don't like agreeing to it, your are my big brother. Just by 10 minutes but still. I love you so much and I will not loose you after loosing mama and gramps. I think I will also stay with papa and you too" I said believing every word that I was saying.

If only I knew that I had to loose him in order to save him.

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