You're not Steve

LaNgUaGe

Chapter 49

Peter's Pov:

"Language." Steve sighs.

"I'm not getting payed nearly enough for this," Morita mutters under his breath.

"Would you look who it is!" Tony grins a creepishly large smile.

Morita lets out a depressing laugh, "Funny seeing you all here, fortunately I have a meeting to get to!" He takes a step back.

"Fortunately?" Nat cocks an eyebrow.

Someone laughs as the colour of Morita's face drains. "Crap, um, I meant unfortunately. Anyways, I'm sure Coach Wilson will be happy to help you all."

"I thought I told you I'm not a coach." Sam sighs.

There's a pop and a closet door flies open. Coach Wilson tumbles out in sweats sipping a beer.

"There is most definitely something alive-" he stops talking when he sees Morita's expression.

He turns to face us. His eyes go wide and he spits his beer all over Thor. "Oh shi-"

"What is with people's language today! We're in a school filled with impressionable youth!"

"Like Get Help!" Thor smiles proudly as he wipes some beer off his face.

"Sorry God." Coach Wilson sips his beer while lightly shaking his head.

"Yeah, for gosh sake, watch your language!" Tony points his finger at Coach Wilson sternly.

Steve rolls his eyes, which earns a smirk from Tony.

"I knew I shouldn't have come to work today!" Coach Wilson sighs.

I look to Morita and notice he's gone.

I tap Bucky on the elbow, "Hey, where'd Morita go?"

He points to the window. I see Morita lifting himself onto the sill, he looks back at us then quickly throws himself out.

"Oh."

"Well. Then."

"Um."

"Wait a second!" Coach Wilson shouts eyeing Stephen.

"You weren't here last time... 1, 2, 3...." he bobs his head at each of us.

"9, 10... 11, 12, 13!"

He gasps then proceeds to count again.

"It's a thirteensome!"

Wanda groans.

Steve closes his eyes.

Pietro face plants.

Stephen looks... distressed.

Clint winks at Coach Wilson.

Nat smacks Clint's arm and he laughs.

"Dude. Get. Your. Head. Out. Of. The. Gutter!"

"And I had just forgotten about that."

"I do not need that picture in my mind."

There's a jumble of words thrown around before Steve clears his throat.

"We're here to talk about our son, Peter. Not other.. things."

Coach Wilson looks like he had a lightbulb. "Oh is that tonight? Well, I'm Coach Wilson."

Bruce closes his eyes. "We are well aware. "

Coach Wilson just sips his beer and heads for the beanbag chair in the corner of the room.

He pops open the mini fridge and pulls out a box of poptarts.

"POPTARTS"

°°°

What a night.

We're on our way back to the tower now, with our fresh shawarma, in Scott's van.

Lesson learned: fourteen superheroes do not fit in one van.

Especially when one of those superheroes insists on staying in his throne.

Scott's driving.

Thor's riding shotgun, underneath the hot sun.

Sam is sitting between Steve and Bucky in the first back seat row.

Nat, Wanda and Loki are in the second back seat row.

Bruce is in the trunk.

Tony's squished between Thor and Scott in the front.

Stephen is in with the engine.

Clint and Pietro are riding on the roof.

And I'm laying on top the dashboard.