Pretty. (Frerard, Petekey, Ryden, Peterick)

32: It's Totally A Butt Dial

"Yes mum, I freaking love Jesus. Never going to love another man as much as I love Jesus... not that I'd ever love men ever because wow what? Me, William Beckett, a homosexual? Ridiculous. But yeah, Jesus is my lord and saviour 2k15."

"Yeah, she's never going to buy that." Travie had barely even looked up from the slightly questionable issue of Gossip Girl that he'd found under William's bed a few minutes ago, when he was, of course, totally listening to the dude ramble on about his strikingly important first world problems, and not, well, reading Gossip Girl like eighteen year old guys just casually did.

"Yeah, how the fuck am I supposed to do this if I can't even pull off being a straight dude for more than like ten seconds - how the hell do you do this?" He gave up, joining Travie on the bed, which really wasn't helping him practice his heterosexuality at all, but he was far more concerned with the issue of Gossip Girl Travie was reading than fucking him - not that he'd be all that opposed to the latter of the two ideas, just not now.

"I would say, just don't make any outward comments on sexuality, just make everything strictly platonic, pretend you don't have feelings at all for an evening, but then again, you do practically radiate homosexuality so, maybe there is no hope for you at all." Travie closed the issue of Gossip Girl, handing it to William with raised eyebrows. "I'm not going to ask."

"Honestly, I don't even know." William blushed like hell as he lied through his teeth and stashed it back under his bed, because he totally didn't look at the beauty tips in there, ever. "Come on, asshole, you're supposed to be the expert on being straight."

"Yeah, but I've never had to deal with the issue of pretending I'm not gay, have I?" Travie rolled his eyes, leaning his head on his friend's shoulder and letting out a complacent sigh, because William was a fucking ridiculous little homosexual man, but he was his best friend nonetheless.

"True, but who else am I supposed to go to about this? The fucking school counsellor, yeah? No. I doubt Catholic school will really appreciate that - they'll probably burn me at the stake or something."

"Maybe you're overreacting just a little there-"

"Maybe I'm not - you're straight, don't tell me what it's like to be so gay you can't even breathe when a hot guy walks into the room." William moaned, overreacting just a little, but whatever, he was having a lot of gay problems right now, and Travie was being quite the unsupporting heterosexual right now. "I wish I had a boyfriend I could make out with right now and like subdue the homosexual urges for a while, before I like turn into Louie Spence at my cousin's wedding."

"Yeah, I may be a straight boy, but even I know that there's a big difference between homosexuality and lycanthropy." Travie gave the seventeen year old a little shove: friendly and far too heterosexual for William's liking, but still not heterosexual enough.

"Not necessarily - you can get gay werewolves, come on, don't be such a homophobe-"

"Gay werewolves." Travie only stared wide eyed at his best friend as he struggled to figure out just what horrible concoction of drugs he had to be on right now.

"Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of Twilight I would read - screw Bella, I want some Jacob on Edward action." William fell onto his back, half giggling, half sobbing, as Travie stared in concern as he questioned whether he should bother the emergency services with the possible seizure that his best friend might be having.

"Can you please stop having a seizure on my bed - it's annoying." Travie sighed out, rolling his eyes at William, who promptly stopped, pouting like hell. "Okay, I'm glad you weren't actually dying because then I really would have looked like an asshole."