Pretty. (Frerard, Petekey, Ryden, Peterick)

48: and it endssssssss!!!!

Because Patrick's head was all this or that, and images that didn't fit into the bigger picture: details never overlooked, and far too much attention paid, and in short a mess, and a mess that needed fixing, cleaning up, so to speak.

Patrick was the silence amongst the screaming, stood alone, in the middle of everything and everyone, alone, and waiting, alone and unsure, alone, just so fucking alone.

Because he saw him sporadically now: all at once, or nothing at all, every second, or not for days, and Patrick couldn't trick himself into coping anymore; he wanted out, although he wasn't entirely sure as to what he wanted out of, and in turn, how he could accomplish such a feat,

There was of course a very obvious answer, but one Patrick felt himself too short on daring to consider, however, perhaps that was little but for the better, because he couldn't be alone like this forever, in fact, he refused to be, but perhaps, like that, he could be anything but alone, and the sky looked so welcoming amidst a rain storm, and an empty house and an unlocked door had served him justice.

Patrick hadn't even ran: that was the stupid part, he'd just walked, he'd just left - this wasn't like before, if Patrick knew anything, he knew that for sure.

And it was out here, in the middle of nowhere, that everything finally seemed to come crashing down on him, because he'd been escaping consequence for far too long, and the figure forever in the corner of his vision could do little but to confirm that, because Patrick knew everything, too much, in fact, enough to send his head exploding into a million little pieces, enough to drive him truly insane, enough to kill him, perhaps, which would be perfectly wonderful, because as brave as Patrick may have been, he still wasn't exactly sure that he could manage the aforementioned feat all by himself.

"You're not by yourself." The figure spoke up, stepping closer, and heightening every nerve and cell in Patrick's body as it did so, as he did so, because the figure was so much more than just that to Patrick.

"I know." Patrick responded, words sticking in his throat a little as he did so, and his body beginning to shake as rain continued to pour upon them, as they stood in what appeared to be little more than a field, but to the two of them, and to Patrick especially, was the grass and sky at the end of the world.

Patrick paused for a moment and considered every thought, pieced everything together, and glanced up at the sky once more, perhaps even cherishing the cold rain on his face, and the way it made him shiver all over, because it was enough as to feel, as to take him away from this all, but rain wouldn't last forever, and neither would this, and the boy closer to him now than ever before.

Because if anyone had brought Pete closer to him, it was Mikey, and that was simply because Pete had always cared for Mikey more than he would ever care for Patrick, and the two shared that knowledge in a silent, un-acknowledged agreement, because they didn't speak often anymore, and especially not about things like that.

And that was why this had to be done: from the note on the counter top at... home. Home, it wasn't home, it was anything but - it was Ryan's house, it was the spare room, and his parents didn't let on how much they minded, because Ryan was all too vocal and all too protective, and spending too little time with Brendon, and fuck, it was happening again, and soon Patrick would turn another year older, another party organised by Ryan Ross himself, another gig from the same band, and another punch to the face, another confrontation, another heart break, because Brendon would always be himself, and he'd always seek company in loneliness, whereas Patrick only sought the capacity to feel.

The silence seemed to numb him, so to speak, and this meant everything, perhaps even to rectify it, but only temporarily, but Patrick couldn't work nor live in the matters lacking permanence anymore, and the situation served to evidence that, as the boy beside him stepped close and smiled.