The Power of Weakness

Chapter 34

They stayed in Aribella's apartment Sunday. They watched television, chatted about irrelevant topics, and napped. Sebastian dreamed about entwining his body with Aribella's. Bringing her into him until they were one entity. He woke to her gasps as she smacked his biceps.

"Sebastian, I can't breathe. You're crushing me."

He lifted his weight from her a bit, but he didn't move off until he finished what he'd started in his sleep.

While nothing unusual to most couples, it was the first time Sebastian had ever spent a lazy day hanging around not doing much with a woman. With other lovers, even when he wasn't rushed, he'd only spent extra time in bed with them if it was between rounds or there was something valuable he could get out of the act. He never had the urge to cuddle anyone, though he'd sometimes let them cuddle him. However, when he was with Aribella, even if he wasn't actively seeking sex, he wanted to touch her and be near her. He wanted to stroke her arm, kiss her hair, or even touch her foot with his.

This wanting of non-sexual physical contact with her was almost a desperate feeling. He needed to touch her and felt a loss for the few minutes she was out of his reach. He didn't like it. To be desperate, means you are weak. Sebastian Meyer was not a man who could tolerate weakness in himself. He had to stop it.

When she got into the shower later that evening, Meyer ached for her to return to his side. The more he craved her, the more he was disgusted with himself. He couldn't let this continue, he thought of only one way to solve his problem. He opened the front door before yelling out to her, "I need to go out for a bit." He was in the corridor before she even had a chance to respond to him.

When he'd been gone for two hours, she texted him.

{are you okay?}
{are you coming back?}

He didn't reply. Three hours after he left, she called and he rejected it. She was left wondering where he went, but was forced to go without an answer. She couldn't have known, and wouldn't have guessed the truth. When he left her place, he'd gone to a coffee shop a few blocks away. and had his car service pick him up from there to take him back to the building on fifty-sixth. He didn't go upstairs to the apartment, he just picked up his new McLaren and drove back to his house.

He wanted to be somewhere she'd never gone. Somewhere that wasn't full of her. They'd only spent four nights together, five if you count that first one she spent passed out, but she was overtaking his thoughts. The current situation was untenable. He was Sebastian Meyer. He was not a man who lost himself to a relationship. He'd assumed he was immune to such feelings. When he went to college and was free for the first time, he played the field and tested the waters of his sexuality. In those days, he had no intention of starting a relationship and zero tolerance for clingy partners. At age twenty, he began to understand his power. His body became a tool for his success. He only asked a woman for a date when he had something to gain besides sex. If sex was what he wanted, he realized that didn't need to come on to women, they willingly offered themselves. He used people for what he wanted and never became attached. More importantly, he never missed anyone. Missing someone meant they had a piece of you that you needed and he needed no one but himself. Ari's presence in his life was messing with the shielding he'd created.

With only limited means of communication, the only thing left for Ari to do was wait. Monday morning she waited for him on a bench in front of their office building. She arrived early and watched each of the black chauffeured cars, but none of them stopped. When she saw his distinctive orange sports car turn into the driveway, she knew he wouldn't be visiting the coffee cart that morning. She waited for a text or phone call that never came.

She waited on the same bench Tuesday morning as well. None of the towncars stopped and she didn't see his McLaren pass by. She ate her lunch on the bench, hoping she might have a chance of seeing him leaving the building, but she didn't. Risking being late, she went down to the garage to check his parking spot, it was empty. Resigned to not seeing him, she waited for the elevator so she could go back to her office.