The Power of Weakness

Chapter 35 🔥

++ A/N reminder of the TW for this chapter

Ari entered her relationship with Sebastian like a star struck teenager. She was so overwhelmed by Sebastian's attraction, that it didn't even occur to her to ask herself if the relationship was worth it for her or not. She thought she was being assertive when she insisted on being his girlfriend. She thought herself clever for getting him to explicitly define what that meant. She thought she was the stronger one when he said he could love her before they'd even kissed. She didn't anticipate what effect the relationship would actually have on her. Even in her moments of despair, she failed to recognize that she had fallen into a trap and that she had the power to escape it.

Instead, she invisibly became a slave to her insecurities and to the past she thought she was leaving behind.

Like an addict on methadone, she waited anxiously for Sebastian to reappear. She'd even gone so far as to spend hours Thursday evening waiting next to the driveway of the 56th street apartment building. Her strategies yielded nothing so when she happened to see him Friday after work, she froze in her tracks. She was exiting the elevator in the lobby when she saw him casually standing there, with his hands in his pockets, looking back at her. She was only able to regain her sense of place because the people behind her bumped into her when she stopped.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry," she apologized to faceless people as she moved off to the side. She lost her sightline momentarily, but when she found him again, his gaze had followed her. He cocked his head back at her in a motion that meant he wanted her to follow him, but he didn't wait on her to catch up. He turned on his heel and headed out and down to the pedestrian entrance to the garage. He was waiting in his car with the passenger door open. Neither said anything as she sat down on the soft leather seat. When her door was closed, he started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

He didn't speak until they were a few blocks away from work. "What were you sorry for?"

"What?" she was still somewhat dazed

"In your last text, you said 'I'm sorry' what was that for?"

She focused on his face as she answered. "For being boring I guess."

Sebastian broke out into laughter and tears burned in Ari's eyes.

"It's not funny and I don't know how to fix being boring."

"Oh don't cry. It's just that you are not boring." He waited until he stopped laughing before continuing. "The weekend with you was one of the best weekends I've had in my life. It was relaxing, not boring. They aren't the same thing at all." He reached his hand over to Ari's. "I couldn't even tell you the last time I'd been truly relaxed and believe me I've tried. I might get a few moments of peace here and there, but I've never gone so long without feeling the pressure to succeed."

Despite the internal fight he was having over whether this relationship was worth it, Sebastian meant those words.

That didn't mean he found the situation acceptable.

His focus had long been on his career and he was far from the finish line. He had to constantly strive just to keep his current position, climbing higher would only get harder. He wasn't about to let his emotions take his focus off the prize or become a stumbling block. He had to take control of them and their trigger - Ari. The only way he knew how to win a fight for dominance was to be the most domineering.

As soon as the apartment door was closed, Sebastian pressed Ari up against the door, his mouth hot on hers. He'd done this before, but she still wasn't expecting it. In the car he'd been gentle, caressing her hand and saying sweet words about their time the past weekend. The way he was kissing her now was a rough and forceful contrast to that.