My Darkening Ember

Chapter Forty - Six

His laboured breathing was all the darkness carried. He was so close, I could almost hear his heartbeat too.

Damn, I cursed in silence. By the gods, I was cursed. He was against me once again, so close I could taste his mouth on mine and my mouth watered.

Lau's haunting steps disappeared as fast as my thoughts, and I pushed him away. Xander didn't resist, but his hand landed on my arm and I thought for just a second, that I knew what he wanted.

Cursed, that's what you are.

How I wanted them both, if not at the same time. His fingers intertwined with mine. He opened my hand and a small cold stone hit my palm. I turned toward him.

In the darkness, he was still the brightest thing I could see, the most welcoming.

I felt it in my palm, that leaf shape. My mother's jade I realized. Sarvin had given it to the council and I thought in all grief I would never see it again. He gave it back to me. How did he have it? Did Aleron allow him to return it to me? Like an obedient pet.

I shook my head, I wouldn't allow this. He couldn't just come back whenever he wanted, gouging his way to my heart, playing with the feelings in my stomach.

We should kill him, strangle him again.

I was angry, frustrated, at him, at Lau, at men. Why could nothing go right?

"I won't be seduced by you." My voice was like a sword cutting straight through the dark.

I felt his whole presence change. Even if I couldn't see those enchanting two-coloured eyes, I knew I had just made a mistake, but I didn't care.

"Why would you say that?" He was hurt, very hurt but angry too. "What did she say? What lies did Mayra fill your head with?"

"I can think for myself." I cut back, "I figured it all out."

"It's not true. I would never..." He almost hissed but I cut him off.

"Is it a lie then, to call him your father? That devil." I couldn't even bear his name in my mouth, but this was a gruesome attack, one that would hurt me too. My anger was too much but he was the only one here—the only one who would hear me.

"He is not my father..." His words sounded broken as he said them and untrue, so untrue I could hear it.

"That man did unspeakable things to me. Did you let him do that? Did you conspire together to break me down? To fool me into letting you violate me?" I said every word louder and louder. I couldn't stop it. My anger had taken over. I needed to hear the truth from him, for once.

"I would never!" He shouted, so loud I froze.

He shook his head, lowering his tone, "I would never have let him do that to you."

"Why didn't you stop him? That monster is your father-,"

"He is not my father!" He yelled so out of control that he stepped toward me and into the moonlight streaming through arched windows.

His two-coloured eyes flared with anger, not of a murderous kind, just pain.

"Why is the truth so hard to convey? Is it because you thought I would never let you in? Was it your plan to string me along and pretend to be my saviour?"

"Stop..." His frail voice warned.

"Did you plan how to slaughter me once you got what you wanted?

"Elora please-,"

"No, I will not stop. I will never let you do to me what that monster did to your mother."

"You have no idea what you're saying, so stop right now."