Everything smelled fresher, like the sort of novelty you would only get if you woke before the sun. That cold air, made during the night, that filled your lungs to the brim, that's what the halls of the palace smelled like. Of course, I felt the sun, and even Mayra's comforting palm on my arm, but even then I thought I would feel other things, physical things. Maybe the way the breeze hit me, or the floor under my feet. But it felt no different.
I could hear the birds, the chirping from the outside, and the wheezing through the window cracks, a little better. As we stepped outside I heard the water dancing somewhere to my side.
The song of nature, only to be heard from now on.
"Are you okay?" Mayra's voice whispered, surprisingly tiny. Her hand squeezed a little tighter as we reached outside.
I gave her a reassuring nod, feeling a genuine calm. I had feared going outside. The angst of facing the world, thinking they all saw right through me. But stepping outside had been the heavy part, and finally emerging felt liberating.
"I hear them all," I said, letting my head tilt back, my lips curling. The birds. They were singing above me, calling out to each other.
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with air. It felt good, like a renewal.
The bind around my face felt strange but it served as a reassurance.
"Your senses will heighten now, everything will seem closer," Mayra explained.
I felt the path curve, and Mayra dragged me with it.
"What would you be doing right now? Not considering everything, but if you never met me. If Sarvin never told anyone about my existence?" I asked, wanting to make small talk to pass time.
"Hmm," I heard her exhale, "I would be drinking in Olien, gambling money in the Smith city, and then retiring in Ledina." Her tone was humorous but I knew there was truth to it.
"Retiring? At your age?" I smiled, "I don't think you would be able to gamble enough money for that."
"Well, you wouldn't know it, but I'm pretty good at bluffing." She countered.
"Even then, retiring? That would be lonely."
"Then it's a good thing I'm stuck looking after you then." She chuckled.
"Don't you want to find someone? To love?"
Love was such a brittle thing.
"I haven't thought about that for a long time." She answered, bleak.
I didn't have to ask as I knew why. Her first love had died. Even thinking of that kind of pain, imagining what I would do if Lau died, was horrible.
"How long do you mourn someone?"
Odd question, but then again was there an answer? An appropriate amount of time to grieve the loss of a loved one?
She breathed, "You mourn until thinking of them makes you smile instead of cry. That's how long you mourn."
"Do you smile when you think of her?"
Her hand squeezed me tighter, a reassuring nod.
"Someday I will."
"Thinking of Edmund makes me neither smile nor cry," I admitted, feeling the need to finally share.
"Sometimes that happens." She replied. Even she didn't have an answer for that.
I understood Edmund had been cold and unloving but still, he had been the only parent I had and would ever have, and when he died all I felt was fear for myself, for what would happen after he was buried.
YOU ARE READING
My Darkening Ember
הרפתקאות"This bounty is mine, Xander," He said. It was the first time I ever heard his name. Xander smirked, "Kill me first, then take her." He proposed arrogantly, a silver knife resting confidently in his hand. The man only nodded once as his hand slithe...
