The Song of the Sea

19. Part of the Crew

Despite the peaceful start to the night, Jacob didn't sleep well at all. It didn't take long before images of his home in tatters dominated his thoughts, and his dreams. He lost count of the number of times he startled himself awake, each time feeling relief that the dreams of his home being destroyed weren't real, only to remember a moment later that they very well could be real, just he wasn't there to witness it.

But being awake at night meant that he had plenty of time alone with his thoughts. And everyone knows that thinking in the middle of the night is never a good idea.

Jacob had gone through every single emotion. Despair, that his home could be in ruin, hope that maybe they would find a way home, fear that there was a good chance they wouldn't make it and that people could die, helplessness that he couldn't see a way out, determination that he would never give up, love for his family, and an overwhelming fondness for the boy in his arms.

Raephier took up a lot of Jacob's thoughts that night. It seemed somewhat cruel that this boy who had taken up home in his heart was actually his biggest mistake. In the dead of night, sleep deprived and feeling desperate, he wished that he had never bought Raephier, wished he had never laid eyes on the Siren. But then Raephier had wriggled in his sleep and pressed closer to Jacob, instantly making him regret that thought. It was selfish of him to put any of this on Raephier, he knew that. Even if they didn't have Raephier, they still wouldn't have a way of getting home. Maybe Tyler and Doug were right and the best they could hope for is that they could sneak past undetected.

But of course the crew had been told they had a new weapon to get them home, and Pete, James, Marco and Lyle would be expecting Raephier to help. But Jacob knew that wasn't going to happen. How was he supposed to break that to them? He knew that Pete and James would be disappointed, but he also knew they would understand. But what about Lyle? He already seemed to hate Raephier, so when he found out that he was effectively useless to them, would he hate him even more? Enough to maybe do something?

This time it was Jacob who felt himself pull Raephier closer.

And then of course, there was that one last thought niggling at Jacob. The one that he tried to keep pushed to the back of his mind. The one he dared not dwell on. But of course, in the middle of the night his mind was weak, and it kept creeping closer and closer into his thoughts until he could ignore it no longer. What if he could persuade Raephier to help? He would never force him, he was not that kind of man. But maybe Raephier would want to help. After all, he seemed fond of Jacob and interested in his home, so maybe he would agree to do his thing and help them get home.

Jacob nearly gave out a snort of disgust at his thought. How could he even be thinking of that? How could he ask someone to turn into a cold blooded killer just for him. Raepheir was no killer. Despite his awful life, he had still managed to maintain an air of innocence about him which was adorable, and no matter what torturous acts he'd been put through, he'd never taken a life. Jacob couldn't ask him to help. He just couldn't. Could he?

As soon as Jacob saw the first rays of sunlight peeping through the curtains, he got himself up, washed and dressed before gently rousing Raephier.

"Come on, we need to get going," he said when Raephier looked at him with sleep filled eyes.

Less than an hour later they'd been filled up by another of Barny's monster breakfasts and were saying goodbye to Sally.

Jacob didn't miss the way Sally pulled Raephier into her arms and whispered something into his ear. And he certainly didn't miss the blush that covered his cheeks at what she'd said.

As soon as they were heading back towards the ship, Jacob couldn't help but ask,

"What did Sally say to you?"