True Happiness is rare (The Breakfast Club- John Bender)

little pig!

Bender starts to whistle a marching tune and everybody joins in. Vernon enters. Bender begins to whistle Beethoven's 5th.

"Alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch," he says.

"Here?" Andrew asks

"Here." the principal confirms.

" Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir!" Andrew tries to convince him.

"Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew!"

Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich...will milk be made available to us?" I ask.

"We're extremely thirsty sir." bender continues.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." claire says.

I've seen her dehydrate sir, it's pretty gross." Andrew backs her up. Bender stands up.

"Relax, I'll get it!" he says.

"Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub!" starts the principal.

"What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?"He points at Andrew. "You!" He points at Allison. "And you! Hey! What's her name? Wake her! Wake her up! Come on, on your feet missy! Let's go! This is no rest home!" Allison gets up. "There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!"

Claire and Bender Brian and I are all sitting around waiting for Andrew and Allison to get back.

"Claire...you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts?" bender says.

"It's pretty tasty," I continue from bender's side, my head leaning against his shoulder, the scent of evergreens and cigarette smoke filling my senses.

"No thank you." claire says.

"How do you think he rides a bike?" I ask her. Claire rolls her eyes and turns away in disgust.

"Oh, Claire...would you ever consider dating a guy like this?" asks bender.

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

"I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car...Although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun.

" you know what I wish I was doing?"

"Op, watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry. Sorry Cherry." he chuckles. I just shake my head with a small smile, still leaning on his shoulder, eyes closed.

"A cherry?"

"I wish I was on a plane to France." claire sighs.

"I'm not a cherry." Brian defends himself

"When have you ever gotten laid?" I ask.

"I've laid, lotsa times!" he says

" Name one!"

"She lives in Canada, met her at Niagra Falls. You wouldn't know her."

"Ever laid anyone around here?" Brian shushes Bender and points at Claire whose back is still turned.

"Oh, you and Claire, did it!" bender exclaims. Claire spins around.

"What are you talking about?" the aforementioned girl asks

"Nothin', nothin'!" he turns to bender, "Let's just drop it, we'll talk about it later!"

"No! Drop what, what're you talking about?

"Well, Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagra Falls area, that presently you and he are, riding the hobby horse!"

"Little pig!" claire yells at brian.

"No, I'm not! I'm not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't, that's it, that's all that was said!

"Well, then what were you motioning to Claire for?" I ask.

"You know I don't appreciate this very much, Brian."

"He is lying!" the boy cries

"Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire?"

"You know he's lying, right?" he asks me hopefully, I just shrug

"Were you or were you not motioning to Claire?"

"Yeah, but it was only...was only because I didn't want her to know that I was a virgin, okay?" Bender just stares at him.

"Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry." Claire laughs at brian.

"Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin?"

Because it's personal business, it's my personal, private business."

"Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business,"

" I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin." claire says. Bender looks surprised.

"You do?" Brian asks. Claire smiles and nods.

"What about you, roads? What do you think of guy virgins?" bender asks, a gleam in his eyes.

"Honestly? I don't give two shits who you've fucked before me. But if I'm in a relationship. You best ONLY be with me. Other than that do whatever the hell you like."Bender seems to relax after I say this, I know he has had a past with an assortment of girls.