Broken Walls ✔

ch 26

Enzo Toun

The entire drive and walk here was utterly silent. Surprisingly, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been the last time we were here. "What made you want to come back here?" I asked, glancing at Liam, who was sitting on one of the grass areas beneath the shadow of a giant tree, peering out at the view.

 It was only about midday, so the sun was still up and bright over the city. He patted the place beside him, and I sat down softly as if he was a small animal that could get scared and run away at any moment. "I'm not sure, I just like it. I'm at ease here "He remarked still looking over the view.

He was way too calm, at least compared to a few hours ago. It was strange, and I began to suspect that he wasn't as affected as I had thought. I shifted my gaze to him, enjoying his features. I noticed that his eyes were somewhat red and swollen, with faint black circles beneath them, and his hair was messier than normal, despite this, he still looked as gorgeous as that night and every day. 

I guess he could feel my gaze on him and he spoke "Enzo, if you've decided to move on... I'm happy for you. I really am." He took a deep shaky breath before continuing "Yeah, it took some time for me to accept. And to be honest. I haven't fully accepted it, but even if it hurts. I've learnt that I can't always be stupid and selfish. Especially when it comes to stuff....or people I don't deserve." He glanced at me for a second "I still want to remain friends, at the very least." He murmured, which surprised me, but this time I wasn't going to stay silent

"Liam, I want to clear up all of this uncertainty between us...so I'm going to be completely honest. Just please let me finish before you react." I said looking over the hill.

 "Go ahead. I'm listening." He said quietly.

"I know that sounds ridiculous, but I think I fell in love with you the first time we met.  Over the past few months, I've only confirmed and grown my feelings to the point that I couldn't hold them in any longer. I was—" I paused, clearing my throat "I am envious of Zach and the way you talk about him. How he got to understand and know you for so long and become such an active part of both your and Alexis' lives. It's something I really really want"

I didn't sleep with Amelia—that girl. Nobody else can affect me like you, even if I wanted to. Your very presence is enough to make me feel electrified-"  "I shut myself off, my cheeks reddening in a blush and humiliation." Anyway. She had gotten shitface wasted and passed out, so I carried her to one of the rooms above the club, and she woke up thinking we had done something. I let her brag about it because I was too preoccupied with you. I didn't care what other people thought. I realize it was dumb of me. And just to clarify I was just too surprised that you reciprocated my feelings to say anything, but I love you too. So fucking much that it sometimes hurts me sometimes"

My chest felt lighter and I felt relieved by the end of my monologue, but a small ping of Anxiety still fluttered in me as I peered across at him for a reply. 

"You don't have to explain it to me. You are not committed to me and owe me nothing "Liam stated matter-of-factly. There he was. The cold persona Liam used to push others away. It seemed as if I could see him building the walls again right in front of my eyes. 

"I know," I responded, staring at him, "but I want to be committed to you." 

"Why?" I couldn't blame him for being skeptical. He's been hurt a lot, and now he's been hurt by me as well. 

I'm determined not to let him push me away again. "Because I love you," I simply stated.

"You know. I've never felt this strongly about someone in this way before, and I'm a little immature about such things. Remember how I judged the main character in that movie for being overly emotional and irrational? and like the hypocrite I am. I   was even quicker to do the same." He chuckled bitterly, but kept going.