𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐁

12 .

3 WEEKS LATER

" Today we are gathered here to celebrate the remembrance of Leeann Stevens. She was truly a beautiful soul and she will forever be missed and loved by her family and friends... "

I sniffed as Deion pulled me a little closer to his chest. I had cried everyday leading up to this moment so I had no more tears left to cry. I really can't believe she's gone... my best friend... the person who took care of me... the best mom anybody could ask for.

She's always been there for me and made sure I was safe and healthy and I feel like I failed her... she deserved so much more than what she had and I wish I could've given it to her... I really don't know how things started going wrong. Dad disappeared, Vontae went to jail, mom got sick...

I just wish I could rewind time.

I look up at Deion and he was just watching the ceremony with a blank face. He didn't look sad but did at the same time. Deions not the type to really show emotion, the only time I've seen him cry was when he was talking to me about his dad.

He hasn't talked the whole ceremony and I want to talk to him about how I feel because he's the one person I can really do that with, but I feel like he doesn't wanna talk.

I pulled away from Deions chest and he looked at me as I looked at my moms urn. I will never forget the day she told me if this happened, she wanted to be cremated. I never really knew why, I just think that she preferred that way.

She never specified if she wanted to be poured someplace and it's kind of sad that I don't know a place where she was her happiest. Everything before she got sick and was spending her days in the hospital are all a blur.

•••

" So your brother couldn't make it? ", Deion asked looking over at me. We were driving back to his house since I told him I didn't wanna be alone.

I sighed, " He said they weren't gonna let him out so I just kind of stopped trying. I can't force him out of jail. " I had called him a week before the funeral and he told me they weren't going to let him out so I just left it alone. I wanted Vontae to be there but my hopes weren't very high considering his situation.

He's been getting in fights and getting in trouble so he's been losing the privileges and little freedom he has. I don't know if he's been acting out because of what happened to mom or he's having one of his episodes again.

" I'll call him later. ", I continued. Deion nodded but didn't say anything. " I saw Trell at the ceremony, why didn't you say anything? ", I questioned breaking the silence.

" To be honest, I ain't really fucking with that nigga right now. I gotta look into some shit before I start being in his face again. ", he mumbled. I looked at him confused, " He knows it was you that kissed me or something? "

" Nah, It's some else. "

I waited for him to explain what it was but he didn't, " You're not gonna explain? " He stayed silent as we pulled up to his house. He turned off the car and we started getting out of the car. He walked around my side of the car and waited for me to grab my things. A lot of people handed me flowers and cards.

I handed all of it to Deion and I reached to the floor to grab my moms urn. " Is it okay if I bring her inside? "

He nodded, " Yeah of course yo. "