"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
-Mae West.
...
*TW/ panic attack*
What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just be normal?
I locked the bathroom door shut, needing to splash some water on my face. My heart rate was getting faster by the second, and I was finding it progressively harder to breathe. I sunk to my knees, ignoring the shooting pain that shot up my legs, and pushed my back up against the door.
I just needed a minute to regroup. Just one minute and then I would be okay.
My head was pounding and my body was shivering so hard by this point that I could barely support my own weight. I could feel my throat begin to swell shut. I coughed and tried to clear it, but it was no use.
My conversation with Tyler must have triggered something within me. Something bad. I really needed to take my meds.
I was trying my best to stay calm but my attempts were futile. In the distance I could barely hear someone calling my name, but there was no way I could reply to them. I thumped my head against the door and continued trying to clear my throat.
"Fuck. Hey can you open the door? I wasn't trying to upset you. I'll leave if you want?" I was struggling to breathe and my vision was blurry. "Please Fawn? At least reply to me so I know you're okay." God I hadn't had a panic attack this bad in years. "I can't finish the project if my partner's dead. Screw it. I'm coming in unless you open the door right now, you're kinda worrying me. "
Something was pushing me, nudging at my back. It was gentle at first but then became gradually became stronger until I was jostled by the force. "Fawn please open the door! You're freaking me out. Let me help."
Was I going to pass out? It sure felt like it.
Suddenly I was knocked over. My head snapped forwards and I could no longer support my own weight. I was gasping and choking on my own breath, barely managing to inhale. "Oh my god. I'm gonna call an ambulance." I immediately shook my head no.
That was the last thing I wanted right now. It would subside in a moment anyway, I hoped.
The shaking was so violent that Tyler had to hold onto my shoulders and pull me into his chest. "Look at me." I heard the whisper, so I looked up, and I was met with deep pools of blue. "Look at me, you're gonna be okay, yeah? Just breathe." He pulled my head further into his chest and brushed the hair out of my face. "Feel my pulse?" I managed a nod, "Good, copy me." He exaggerated his breathing and encouraged me to copy him. "Inhale. Exhale. That's it."
Gradually I could feel my senses coming back to me, starting from my toes to my fingertips. Eventually I looked into his eyes, expecting judgment, only to find concern. "Princess?"
"Y-y-yeah?" I croaked. My voice box was basically non-existent at this point.
"Oh thank fuck. You weren't answering me before. I was fucking scared. Help should be here soon." He pulled away slightly. My hand was resting on his heart, and I clenched the material tightly in my fist as my heart rate returned to normal. "I'm gonna get you some water." He pulled away from me.
"I d-d-d-don't." I stifled a sob. "I don't need help. I'll be f-fine." He looked unsure but reached for his phone anyway. "Wait! Don't g-go." I grabbed his arm quickly.
"Okay, okay. Fuck. Um... okay. I'm not going anywhere." He sighed and I felt his chest move with the effort.
"You s-s-s-swear a l-l-lot you know."
He chuckled at me, sighing a breath of relief that I was talking to him again. "Piss off. That was a very stressful situation." While he spoke to someone on the phone I began to feel faint again.
"How'd you know what t-t-t-to do?"
He paused a moment. "My Mom used to have panic attacks." He sighed, running a hand through his head and making sure his hood was secured. I wondered why he felt the need to cover his face, he never put his hood down.
"I'm tired." I mumbled. "I think I'll j-j-just close m-my eyes for a bit." There was a protest from above me, but my body was already shutting down.
The last thing I felt was a racing heartbeat beneath my head before I lost consciousness.
YOU ARE READING
Lost Boy
Romance"It's too dangerous." He placed his calloused hand on my hip and pulled me so our faces were mere inches apart. "I would ruin you, and you wouldn't even notice." I met his glare head on. "I'm not m-m-made of glass. You don't need to p-protect me." "...
