Lost Boy

Chapter Thirty Three

Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.

-Milan Kundera

...

Fawn's POV

"I'm here!" Chris called, poking his head through the smashed glass in my living room. What was once a large window was now an open walkway, allowing onlookers to see into my home. Tyler had tried to pull the curtains over the large gaping hole, but there was still a gap on either side. Chris awkwardly shuffled through the gap, coming over to where we sat on the old couch.

I had barely spoken since it all happened, still in shock. Tyler was thinking so hard I could almost hear the gears turning in his brain. As usual, he was blaming himself, taking the weight of the world upon his shoulders and shutting me out. I wanted to be there for him, after all I was sucked into his life of chaos, but he wouldn't let me help. He just kept saying he was going to 'fix it' over and over.

Chris took one look at his brother and pulled him into a hug, receiving no affection back. Tyler stood stock still, not pushing Chris away but not embracing him either. It was like he was frozen in time. Chris slowly turned to look at me, a pitiful expression on his face.

He went to hug me but I stopped him before I could. "I'm f-f-fine Chris." I reassured him. "It's okay."

"But it's not fucking okay!" Tyler yelled, startling us both. "Nothing about this is okay." He whispered, deflated.

"You g-got out right?" I turned to face Chris. "If you c-c-can do it, then why c-cant we? What's stopping us?" I smiled hopefully.

"It's not that easy," Chris replied, upset. "With our family, you don't just get to leave. I had to give up everything I had to escape that life. I had absolutely nothing. Tyler has you to think of."

"Stop b-b-blaming me!" I cried. "I see what you're d-doing, and it's n-not okay. You can't just r-risk yourself for me." I looked pointedly at Tyler, who was staring at me intently. "I'm just one p-p-person." I muttered. "I c-cant be the deciding f-factor."

"That's enough." Tyler stood up, pulling Chris aside and shutting me out completely. "We need to make a plan, and a good one at that. I have no idea how long we have before they're back. We have to come up with something fast." Chris took a small glance at me, ignoring the pleading look in my eyes and turning to face his brother.

"I've got some friends, a couple of towns over. There aren't too many of us, but we can try and help. " Chris shrugged, rubbing his arms together. "Obviously you can take the car. I can arrange a pickup, a car swap or whatever you need. Don't take the freeway, his men will be able to find you. I'll make a route for you to follow, and find you somewhere to stay for a bit. We can figure the rest out later."

My head began to pound as they continued to formulate a getaway plan, regardless of my disagreement. I had no say in the matter, that much had become abundantly clear to me now. This was their world, I was just dragged into it accidentally.

That didn't mean, however, that I was just going to give up. This was my life too.

I stood up quietly, without either of them noticing and made my way to the front door. I had put my boots on and was shrugging Tyler's old jacket onto my shoulders when they finally noticed me. "What the fuck are you doing?" Tyler called, coming to block the front door. I rolled my eyes at him and made my way to the gap in the window, climbing through. I had gotten most of my body through, and was wiggling my butt past the gap when I was grabbed by the coat at my neck and dragged backwards. I let out a small oomph as I slammed into the muscled body behind me. I slowly tilted my head back until Tyler's angry face was staring down at me.

I stared back into his eyes, keeping my facial expression passive and ignoring the hair floating around my face. If he wasn't going to listen to me then I sure as hell wasn't going to listen to him.  "Don't be stupid." Upside-down Tyler said. "You're going to get yourself killed."

"I'm hardly gonna get g-g-g-g-gunned down f-for stepping outside." I rolled my eyes. "He s-said he won't hurt us y-yet. It's p-perfectly fine. Besides, I h-have work to do." I tried once again to go for the door, but this time I was thrown over a shoulder and moved as far away as humanly possible. "Seriously?" I yelled. "Put m-me down!"

"What a match." Chris laughed, watching Tyler drag me up the stairs. The last thing I saw was Chris taping up the hole in my living room before I was met with the floor of my bedroom.

"Can I put you down now?" Tyler asked, bored.

"I don't know, c-c-can you?" I groaned, sarcastic, receiving a slap to my bottom. "What w-was that?" I squealed, being slowly lowered to the ground. I felt the blood rush from my head as the world was turned the right way up again.

Excuse you sir!

"What was what?" Tyler smirked at me, acting completely amused.

"No." I pointed at him annoyed. "No. You d-d-don't get t-to act like everything's f-fine!"

He lifted his arms in a confused gesture, acting nonchalant. "I d-don't know what y-you mean." He shrugged.

I sat on the bed, utterly exhausted, and felt myself tear up once again. God darn it. "S-stop." I pleaded. "Enough."

Finally, after all we had been through, I saw Tyler's expression crumble. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll stop being an asshole now." He came to sit with me, pulling me into his chest. "I'm done now."

I sniffled, trying to pull myself together. "P-promise?" I held out my pinky.

"Promise princess." He linked our fingers together, bringing them to his lips to place a gentle kiss on my skin.

My Tyler had come back to me. He was finally thinking straight. I stared into his eyes and cuddled against his warmth, feeling him take a deep breath. "Tyler? Can we j-just be m-me and you again?" I asked.

"What do you mean tesoro?" He looked down at me, bringing me fully into his lap and began to fiddle with my hair.

"L-L-Let's just be us tonight." I said. "Just T-Tyler and Fawn. Just our normal selves. I d-d-dont want to think a-about everything else. J-J-Just for tonight." I asked him. "Can we just be us?"

He sighed, and I prepared myself for another lecture, but he just kissed my head and nodded. "Of course." He smiled. "It's just us. You and me, okay?"

I nodded, and that was when he kissed me, hard, and full of need.