over and over [Jacob black x OC] [[complete]] ..twilight..

2

school was nice. a fresh new start. nobody knew who I was, other than the occasional person who got to know my sister. these people were far and few between.

I didn't talk to anyone really, not even the people who tried to get me to sit with them at lunch or be their lab partner's or whatever. sometime's I'd find an awkward goth kid to sit with, but other than that, I didn't pay anybody much attention.

there was this one boy in my creative writing class that really interested me, though. Bella had said he'd saved her from getting crushed by a car last week. she's very dramatic, though, and I doubt that it was really that serious.

he was always fucking staring at me, especially when my thoughts got too loud or fast. it's like he could hear when the volume got turned up too loud, but no one else noticed.

today was really fucking rough. I couldn't figure out why, but from the moment I woke up, I felt plagued by blackness. black sky, black lungs, black blood. everything felt toxic and eerie.

on my way to my creative writing class, I overheard some greasy-faced kid in my grade say something absolutely vile about my body. it circled around in my head like a merry-go-round, getting faster and faster. maybe I have some fucked up methods of coping, but in my seat in the corner of the class, all I could think about were scenes of blood running down my arms in the shower. I swear, I saw pity in Edward's eyes. I must've been wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I wasn't pouting or being gloomy, I didn't think. I imagined myself leaving the class, going to the bathroom and banging my head against the mirror until it shattered and I could "cope" with the shards wherever they fell. whoever found me in this fantasy was in for a real treat.

at the end of the day, I walked to Bella's truck for a ride home. it was really cold and I had gotten there before her. I stood there awkwardly, trying to keep the collar of my jacket above my nose to keep warm.

I heard a few more unsavory comments from passing classmates. I ignored them. I wouldn't make a fool of myself by losing control on one of those worthless fucking perverts like I did in phoenix. fresh new start.

eventually, I watched as Bella and Edward walked toward the truck, together. she had mentioned a real interest in him, but I didn't really see them together until then. they were talking to each other, getting quieter as they got closer, then stopping the conversation altogether.

"ade, this is Edward," Bella said. her cheeks were growing rosy from the biting February air.

"yeah, Ade is um, in my creative writing class," Edward said with, what I would come to know as, a classic Edward smirk.

"oh, that's so crazy," she replied with a slightly astonished look all over her face. "what are the odds?"

I hadn't said a word yet. I liked playing this game. how far could I make it in a conversation, forcing the other people involved to basically talk to themselves.

"so, Edward and I were gonna go catch a movie and get some dinner or something. I thought you'd want to take the truck home," Bella said, dangling her keys in front of me. I technically wasn't street legal on my own yet, but, you know... cop dad. plus, I was an all-terrain professional. I was much better coordinated than Bella seemed to be, at least. I was trusted with the truck.

I felt relieved on the inside, knowing I would have the place to myself tonight. I thought about indulging in some extra Benadryl or cough medicine, or maybe taking twice my dosage of my sleep medication or anxiety medication, or maybe I could take a cocktail of this or steal a little liquor from Charlie...

the thoughts swirled in my head so fast, just in a matter of seconds. I might've really gotten in my head about this weird connection Edward and I must have, something about radio frequencies or brainwaves, because I saw something change in his expression. I could be totally wrong.