over and over [Jacob black x OC] [[complete]] ..twilight..

19

violent delusions involving bodily harm, vomit

"I don't want her to die," I croaked, sobbing and trembling like a child. I was enrobed in a terror that was soft and cushiony but dark and cold. like a void that hugged back. I was repeating myself again and again. I could hear it, I could almost feel it, but I mostly felt the urge to vomit.

suddenly, I was sinking onto a tiled floor with my head over what was an immaculately clean toilet until I began violently retching. I was chaotically spiraling and the whole room was a blur.

I heard someone directing Jacob, who I assumed was the hot arm draped around me. he carefully removed my flannel shirt. there was some discussion in the room much too muted and fuzzy for me to understand.

my throat burned. I was on the scariest carnival ride of my life. it lasted forever.

in time, though, the spinning was slowing to a bearable rate. the rapid rotations of a spinning top became an uneasy, almost drunk feeling when the whole room is unsteady and wobbling. it was easier to handle. I was in a cold sweat and my body was rigid, posed with my knees on the cold tiles and my arms crossed over the toilet with my face resting against them. my eyes were closed as the room began to settle. I could hear myself try to catch my breath again. I was so relieved to be at least this much better. I didn't even feel any confusion yet.

a large warm hand rested on my lower back. when I finally opened my eyes- it might have been ten or twenty minutes, I couldn't tell- I saw Jacob sitting beside me with his back against the wall. he was as close as he could be without being in the splash zone. his eyes were closed and he looked a little pained. I flushed the toilet so I wouldn't have to see whatever had left my body.

he opened his eyes and sat upright attentively. "are you okay?" he asked, looking up and over his shoulder to the doorway, but nobody was there. in a moment, though, Carlisle appeared.

he looked somberly at me and presented my altoids tin. "I don't appreciate the breach of trust, ada, you really could've gotten hurt. if you can't improve with gatorade in the next hour, we might have to bring you to the hospital."

I groaned and laid my head back down into my arms. he said he would be back in a moment and left the room.

"that was really fucking scary," Jacob whispered anxiously.

"what happened?" I whimpered, keeping my eyes tightly closed.

"Edward and I were talking and... you just started losing it... in the living room. I guess Edward, like, sensed what was happening or something... and he got you in here just in time for you, to... you know... spew your guts out," he said slowly, uncertainly, in shock still.

my stomach lurched aggressively at his choice of words. "don't," I gagged and coughed. I threw up some more and tried not to cry.

"sorry, sorry," he said quietly, rubbing my back. after this wave of sickness passed, I flushed again and tried to settle myself down in the dizzy room.

when I opened my eyes, Carlisle was back again with a cold red gatorade. he handed it to Jacob, then asked Jacob to step out of the way for a moment so he could take a look at me. he obliged silently and observantly.

the gorgeous doctor knelt beside me and set up his stethoscope in his ears and pressed the round part against my back. he listened to me breathe for a little. after he took off the stethoscope and hung it around the back of his neck, he pressed the back of his hand against my head. then he flashed a tiny flashlight into my eyes.

"ada, I thought I locked that room," he said quietly with a hand on my back. he leaned down towards me with a concerned gaze. I wanted to kill myself right then and there for doing such an ignorant and rude thing to a perfectly nice person such as himself. I started crying again and buried my face into my arms so he couldn't see my humiliated expression. "it's okay, I'm not even mad at you. I'm really annoyed with myself."