over and over [Jacob black x OC] [[complete]] ..twilight..

8

in the morning, I woke up in Jacobs bed, alone. I felt dehydrated and my head was pounding. as last night slowly came back to me, my feelings of embarrassment and shame returned. I tried to rinse them off in a hot shower, but it wasn't all going to wash away. I stood beneath streams of steaming hot water with my eyes closed. I needed to be home, in bed, alone.

after stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a big brown towel around myself and sat at the edge of the tub for a while. I spent some time thinking about what my intentions would be with embry. he hadn't even asked for my number. it seemed like he just wanted to hook up sometimes. that was fine with me, but I wondered if he had any other intentions. I wondered if he had a whole Rolodex of girls he fucked when he got bored. maybe he planned on asking for my hand in marriage. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all.

these thoughts came and went without rising any offense or jealousy on my part. I liked spending time with him. if he didn't want to kiss me anymore, that would be fine. I was ambivalent. just passing through life.

there was a gentle knock at the door that startled me nearly out of my skin. I hadn't heard any footsteps approaching.

"yeah?" I said quietly with a bit of a raspy voice.

"it's me," Jacob said from the other side.

I got up and cracked the door open. the cold air didn't hesitate to rush in. Jacob stood tall above me and I wondered if he had grown over night. I wouldn't be surprised if I had shrunk. I felt small.

"sam told me about last night," he said, looking a little worried, but hungover and tired above all else. maybe even irritated. "are you okay?"

I sighed and brushed past him, walking into his bedroom. I was pretty much dry then. unpacking my clothes from my backpack, I mumbled, "yeah, I'm fine. I drank too much."

he nodded. "me too. I'm really fucking hungover."

I didn't mind changing in front of Jake. the towel dropped to the floor and I stepped into a pair of underwear and black leggings.

"do you want any breakfast? sam and Emily are making eggs and shit like that," he said, standing by the door that he had closed so no one would see me.

I shrugged. I pulled a t-shirt and dark red hoodie over my head. "I was going to ask Bella to pick me up. I just wanna spend the day in bed."

he nodded. "okay."

we both stood there quietly for a moment before I asked, "can I have a hug?"

he walked over to me and wrapped his big Jake arms around me in an embrace. I hugged him back, burying my face in his chest. his shirt still smelled like a bonfire.

on the ride home, alone with Bella, I curled up in the passengers seat to keep warm. I could never get fucking warm in this place.

"you look tired," Bella said quietly. she never had any music on when she drove.

I nodded. "I am."

"so, I guess you don't want to come to the Cullen's baseball game tonight," she said without emotion.

I gave her the side-eye. "the Cullen's baseball game," I repeated cynically.

she scoffed and smiled a little, mostly in the eyes. "yeah, it's like a family... thing. I don't know. whatever, they were nice enough to invite you."

I rolled my eyes. "that's real nice, but no, I really just want to sleep."

she shrugged. "suit yourself."