over and over [Jacob black x OC] [[complete]] ..twilight..

9

school was really hard on Friday. not only has Edward mysteriously been gone all week, as were the rest of the Cullens, but I've overheard a few different people talking about me. how I was the uglier swan, that I was a freak, a loner, a "school shooter or something". the only one I could really get behind was "the uglier swan". and maybe "loner". regardless, I was back to having panic attacks in the school bathroom again. I haven't had much of those since living in phoenix.

after I got home to an empty house, I took some meds and drew a hot bath with lots of minty soap. I released a bit of red-colored stress. once I had drained the tub, I wrapped my arm with a loose, thin layer of white gauze, just to prevent my shirt from sticking to the wounds. I laid out on my bed, in a hoodie and my underwear, and listened to brand new's the devil and god are raging inside me. eventually, I fell asleep.

when I woke up, the room was dark. I saw the light was on downstairs, so I assumed by dad was home. I stayed in my room for a while longer, texting Jacob about my feelings of loneliness and his mood swings that have, lately, increased in intensity and frequency.

around 6 o'clock, Charlie knocked on the door. I told him to come in, and he did.

"hey, ade," he sighed. "dinner?"

I shrugged. "whatever you want."

he thought for a moment. "I have pasta from the Italian market. I can heat up some meatballs."

"sure," I said quietly.

"that was easy," he remarked, then turned to walk away.

"I'm not the picky one," I joked, momentarily forgetting that the picky one allegedly ran off to phoenix. we were starting to get a little worried that something more nefarious was happening, but we had no proof. the hospital Carlisle worked at informed the police department that he was on a family vacation in California. the school district corroborated the same story for his kids. still, we all felt weird about it.

I heard the phone ring downstairs. I got up to use the bathroom. in the mirror, I looked a little thinner than normal. I think it was my new sleep-diet. I had slept through most meals this week and had little appetite otherwise. I was thankful for any weight lost. dad didn't keep a scale in the house, though. he was careful with us.

"ada!" my dad shouted from downstairs. "it's your sister! she's calling from phoenix!"

I ran downstairs, elated to learn that she wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere. I was worried we'd have to send out search dogs or something to check the Cullen property.

he looked happier than he had been in weeks. I took the phone from him.

"Bella!" I said, excited and listening for her response.

"hi, ada, I just wanted to call and say everything's good. I'm sorry for running off on you guys like that. I'll be back soon, I think," she said quickly. it sounded like she wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible.

"what happened? dad said you and Edward broke up," I said, just as fast.

"um, yeah, it's kind of weird. it's okay. I'll call you again soon, okay? love you, bye," she said, and before I could say anything, she hung up.

I looked at dad, my mouth gaping open. "she hung up on me!"

he looked at me funny. "seriously? what did she say?" he took the phone from me and put it back on the hook.

"she said everything was okay, she's sorry for running off, and that she might come back soon," I recounted. though I was relieved to know she was okay, I had more questions than I did before she called. "this is just so weird. I don't know. I think she's hiding something."