Finding Melody

38: Surrounded By Love Pt.1

The realization of what we had done was the scariest part of an overthinker's mind. The realization that we had created this earth shattering  movement in one another. My mind raked through the overwhelming questions that I wanted to blurt out, that I needed to ask him. The days got closer to the moment we would be flying home, hand in hand and Natalie and Nolan would be waiting. And as they saw us, their faces would crinkle, confusion flying through the air. Questions and more questions and it would be all over once Avery saw Dallas. She would've remembered him from that night, she wasn't excessively drunk or out of it and she had a good memory,which right now would be the death of me.

I should've been talking to him about this, my underlyingly large fear that everything would change when we got home, everything would become horribly wrong. He was taking a shower, in the other room and my mind was spiraling, he left me alone for ten minutes and I was imagining everything that could go wrong with this, with us.

I needed advice, but I had no one to turn to. Natalie couldn't know, Nolan definitely would be the last one to know. He really liked Dallas, but not enough for me to date him, not enough that once he found out we even shared a room together or he had come over many many times he would hate Dallas. I didn't think Vi had the answers I was looking for, and she might feel very uncomfortable asking her about her brother.

I needed to just ask him one question. One question to know what this was, was I a girlfriend? A fling? A miscommunicated relationship that would fall apart as soon as we landed back home?

I needed to ask, and as I heard the rush of the water pressure listen and come to a halt. I wanted to march in there and ask him, I wanted to set it clearly, so clear and concise that we both knew what each other was thinking at every moment. When people asked what we were, we spoke in unison, the same moment, the same time, nothing different.

The door to the bathroom opened, as I leaned back on the couch, trying to get a glimpse of him from the cracked bedroom door. He looked calm, calmly perfect. He was drenched in water, as he grabbed his clothes, bending and picking them up.

"Mel", he called out, meeting his eyes as he looked my way, and I was stuck on his. He shook his head, looking at me with the smuggest look he had ever worn.

"What?" I asked plainly, trying to cover my blushed red cheeks from embarrassment, I had been caught. I started walking over to him as he smiled, pulling a shirt over, but I wished he had kept it off for longer.

"I just wanted to ask about our plans today?" He said, wiping his drenched hair with his towel, letting water droplets fall everywhere. He was horrible with drying his hair, I had learned over the years, but he had never had any guidance at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if his pillow case had literal mold on it, it didn't. But if there was it wouldn't be surprising.

Now was the time to ask him, as he gave me time to think about our plans, our blasphemous plans, our exhilarating plans. I just wanted to sit here with him  and talk about the kinks we needed to work thoroughly through, I needed to talk to him about every single worry and fear that drove my mind to never existing.

"I don't really have anything planned for today." I hoped he would understand that I didn't want us to go out on some fancy tour of England that would cause me to sweat and heave and not give us any time to discuss this, discuss us.

He handed me his towel, after I watched him struggle with his mop of soaked hair that dripped down his back, giving him a strange shudder and a line going down his shirt. He sat on the ground in front of me, his head in my lap as I ran the towel through his hair.

Now was the time, now it was my golden opportunity, he could see me, I could see him. I was focused, he was focused on getting rid of that antsy feeling of water trickling to his bum. I was ready, we had to talk about the reality, we couldn't stay here forever. Imagining our fake life in the safe confinement of our little apartment.