nevertheless || yuzuru hanyu

sixteen - joyful are the days that you're with me

a/n: enjoy this wholesome chapter while it lasts.

Yuzuru ::

There's an emotion peeking from within, I could never fathom what it was that it was trying to make me feel, but it remaining a mystery makes me nervous. Words of hatred towards the way I am and the way I act are baseless insults that never really get through me. My mom always told me that people will judge you for anything especially if they don't know you, and as hurtful as that may come across, there is no other way around it than to let it be and be the bigger person.

Like I said, insults never really get through me, but in that context, they never actually leave my mind.

People are significant, therefore even if they were strangers, the words they heed are heavy. Though there are some people who can reject other's negative views on them, I am just not that type of person. It may seem as though it doesn't get to me, but it does. It's worse because it takes it's time. It's slow and rigid, and it leaves an impact in whatever I think about in my mind. Baseless words can only be so baseless for so long, until more people start seeing you that way. Until more people criticize you for the same things. Because when more people are talking about it, baseless words can easily turn into the truth, baseless words earn weight.

This is how fast a great day can turn sour. I planned to eat something good today, but I don't even have the strength to find good food right now. All I'm doing is scanning all the emotions scattered in the different sections of my head. At the seventh hour, I'm walking the side of the streets with my earphones on, holding on to the straps of my backpack while in heavy thought of the words people heed. I'm on my way to meet Gabriella, but honestly, I'm having second thoughts on meeting her. In the back of my mind, I felt that it was unfair for me to meet her while I'm feeling like this. I can say I'm not fully myself at the moment, and given how worried she sounded while talking to me, I don't want to stress her out more than I already did.

But, I guess turning around now would be the wrong choice, especially as Gabriella has already caught sight of me, and she was waving her arms in the air with a huge smile. When my eyes had already met hers, she lowered her arms, and her smile grew wider, it felt warmer and more comfortable.

She approached me, the smile on her face coming from a greeting to a smile of assurance.

"Hey." She softly spoke. In one word that she uttered, anyone would be able to hear the concern that was laced on her voice. Her small greeting felt so full of emotions that I couldn't find the right words to even greet her back.

"Are you okay?" She asked, but I knew that she knew how I was currently feeling. "It could be better I guess..." I was able to say. If I had been speaking to another person, this might not have been the same words that would leave my mouth, but Gabriella and the way she looked at me felt so full of consolation. It welcomes you to be honest and true to whatever it is that you feel.

She chuckled, "In Korea, whenever I'd receive my share of criticisms, my coach would take me out for a bottle of soju. You know, I would take you out for a drink, but you have to be in your best physical state, so let's reserve that for another day." She said to me.

I don't know if it was because I was in a worse mood but, even just when she says little things about herself like this, I feel comforted. It felt like an embrace, another good thing to be grateful for.

"Well, if we can't drink. What do you have in mind?" I asked her out of curiosity.

She said nothing. Her lips just formed into a smile as if she had everything planned in her mind. "Follow me!" She said in a tone almost a little melodious. Just as she had told me, I followed her.