nevertheless || yuzuru hanyu

thirty-three - eyes

When you get anxious, it's like every single snicker of the world is on speaker. You either hear your own footsteps or your own breathing. Your senses become heightened, and you somehow know whether or not someone is behind you. You feel watched, but the only one watching you is your own self.

That was how walking to the training court felt like for Gabriella. She could hear her heart beating so loud it almost seemed as if it was on speaker and being played right next to her ears. She didn't have a clue as to why she was so nervous. Perhaps it was because of uncertainties, or that she may not get the acceptance that she wants.

Nevertheless, she continued walking those cold steps of hers. Swallowing her breath and every word in her head that was trying to incite more anxiousness in her.

She was standing a few inches from the door. Her hand was already on the handle. Her heart was beating faster. It was pounding so hard and loud. So one last time, she took her hand off of the handle and put it against her chest.

"This is the last time." She muttered. Perhaps that was the reason why she was so nervous. At this point, everything in her circumstance could be a reason why she's nervous. She took a deep breath. Probably the deepest one in a while. With the air she took in, she felt all the emotions, all the glamour, all the memories, and all the pain. So by the time she breathed out, it was a new beginning. No more wasting moments. After all, time was not on her side for her to just waste it like this.

She placed her hand back on the door handle and pushed the door open.

The doors of the court opened with the loudest creak.

So by the time Gabriella walked in, all eyes were on her. So many eyes were saying things about her, and in return, her eyes answered with gratitude.

She's a normal person, which means she can't please everyone. In the court stood a mix of people she was close with and some who she barely even talked to. Their eyes had ranges, some more welcoming and some who were rather filled with questions and concerns.

Whatever it was that was running through their minds, there was a sense of comfort that ran through Gabriella's skin as she saw her teammates. They made the court atmosphere complete.

Her happiness was transparently sitting on her smile. Some of her closest friends on the team looked at her for quite a while. It may have been the shock, perhaps even gladness. Whatever it was, carried their feet towards Gabriella and incited them to pull her into an embrace.

They were all smiles. Warm and welcoming as if nine months hadn't gone by with Gabriella being away. Some of her teammates that weren't that close with her also approached her.

They gave her simple words of encouragement. Despite an uncelebrated win, they were still proud of her. At the end of the day, she still won the medal for the whole country.

"It's good to have you back."

"Take it easy."

"It's great to see you again."

Again, they were very simple words, but they helped. Hearing them made her feel more comfortable moving around the court.

There was goodness and positivity that graced freely around her, but she somehow found herself looking for something—more so, someone who could make her think of things she ought to forget.