nevertheless || yuzuru hanyu

thirty-six - still waiting

There was little to no reason to keep going. What began as something she wanted to finish off with flying colors didn't feel like something she wanted to do anymore. Sometimes, despite being so passionate about something, things just go all over the place and you lose your grip. If one asks a person what made them change to someone either better or worse, the chances are they'd answer with a specific person or an event brought about by a person. Basically, despite wanting to deny it, another person's actions towards another will affect them in ways beyond understanding... whether that be for the better or the worst. People can change people. That's just how it works.

In a later part of the morning, when things remained silent, Gabriella's alarm rang. She slowly sat up from bed, after hours of staring at the ceiling with empty thoughts. Her eyes were sore, and she felt as though she was out of her mind. Some things just weren't processing, everything felt so abrupt to her. She stood up from her lonely position at the edge of her bed. She walked in front of her closet, opened it, and stared at her the clothes that were hung there so still. With her tired eyes, she browsed through the clothes that she brought in hopes of finding one that she could wear to see Yuzuru skate. After a few minutes of staring, she finally picked something out. It was just a regular outfit, but she wanted to look at least a bit in theme with some of Yuzuru's program costumes. Fortunately, she happened to have found a rather floral and detailed cardigan when she was at her house. She knew she would have the opportunity to wear it, and it seems that today was the perfect time to do so.

When she had everything prepared, she left the complex without saying a word. Not to her teammates, not to her coach, not to anyone. She felt lost, but at the same time, she didn't want to be found. She felt like a child running away from home, yet at that moment, it felt so right. She just wanted a moment to feel anything. She just wanted that sense of catharsis. She needed something that will make her scream, something that will help her release everything.

At that early time of day, she had no problem leaving. When she was asked about where she was going, she simply walked away and said nothing. Those who asked thought that she just couldn't hear them, but she did, she just didn't want to be found. Not yet.

She was too incomplete for anything right now.

She walked over to the bus stop, waiting for a ride that would take her to Gangneung Arena where the event will be held. People got on and off the bus, but she just sat there in silence, putting on those earphones that Yuzuru gave her. It was helpful. So much more helpful than she thought it would be when she first received it. She was listening to some heartful music, stuck in her mind as people kept coming and going.

Soon enough, she reached the arena. She wore a mask to avoid any sort of unwanted confrontation. Once again, she wasn't in the mood for that.

It was still quite early, so as the others did, she waited in line to get inside. She had already purchased tickets beforehand. She's never seen Yuzuru compete, so this will be the first time for that. It was the only thing she looked forward to.

She didn't let him know that she would come. She thought that it might just distract him and she didn't want that.

In the back of her mind, she did wish that they'd see each other and even just talk for a bit. She missed talking to him. Just hearing his voice would make her feel a lot better.

While waiting in line, Gabriella saw quite a lot of people whom she assumed to be Yuzuru's fans. It was easy to tell with the banners and the pooh plushies. For the first time today, something got her to smile, even if it was just a faint one.