nevertheless || yuzuru hanyu

thirty - beautiful sunsets

Gabriella::

I knew that perhaps I was wrong for just walking away.

It's just that it was quite early in the morning to have heard news such as the one I've been given.

Before, I was told I was fine. I was told that I could start playing again after resting for at least a month.

As if I hadn't already wasted so much time just asleep in a hospital bed, I now needed to make a decision that would either way end up with me not being able to play badminton.

How could I not think that it's not fair? When I've been a decent person my entire life, and for some reason, I'm suffering this way.

I just began getting my life together, and now it's being put apart, again.

Life is just so exhausting sometimes. It's a never-ending competition.

It's one wherein you'd win, but you're also guaranteed a loss.

It's not fair. Why can't you just win and enjoy your victory? Why does there have to be a cry within the joy?

I want to be optimistic about this. I want to smile through it and not have it cross my mind every single moment, but how can I do that?

Badminton is my life. I've spent more time with it than my friends and even my own family.

Losing it is losing a part of me.

As I let these thoughts run through my mind, a reflexive sigh escaped my very lips. I was quite exhausted from all the running, because who just decides to run home after hearing depressing news.

That's why right now, as I was walking away, I could barely feel my legs. I could fall any minute yet for some reason it doesn't feel like it's that big of a deal.

So I continued moving my feet... at least what I could feel in the lower portion of my body. The view of my house was getting bigger, from what I could tell, I was getting closer.

Much later into the walk, there was panting, but it did not come from me, it came from somebody else. There were footsteps. They sounded determined and concerned. I could almost guess who it is.

"Yuzuru." I confidently said his name. It could have been anyone, but perhaps he was the greatest good thing resting in my mind.

"Can you please stop for a few minutes? Sit down and rest. You look like you're about to fall down any second." He said to me, as his eyes were studying whatever pointless expression was sitting like a topping on my face.

He didn't even wait for me to answer as he gently pulled me to the side, near the clean grasses, and told me to sit down.

"What are you doing?" I uttered with a dead tone.

"Doing the smart thing that you should be doing." He replied to me with an assertive and almost upset tone.

I was sitting on the grass, resting as he had told me to when he knelt down in front of me with a white plastic bag in his hand.

He took out a bottle of water and told me to drink it well.

Every time I see a bottle of water, I just think about how we met. That was a beautiful thing to come out of something tragic.