Walls Between Us

05 | mine

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A M A Y A

Jeremy McGraw stops his motorcycle in front of Mom's apartment building and I slide down, attempting to open the straps of my helmet.

"Thank you so much for the ride, Jeremy. It means a lot," I say as I give him back the helmet.

He laughs deeply, grey eyes shining as he looks at me. His blond hair escapes his helmet as he drags it out and runs his fingers through it.

"You're my girlfriend, Amaya. I'm pretty sure thanks is the last thing you should be saying for a lift."

My smile falls quickly at the mention of the word girlfriend. Am I his girlfriend? I do remember saying yes when he asked me out but at the same time, when he kissed me I didn't feel anything.

Jeremy and I have known each other for two years now. He used to work at Incline as the Associate Manager but left to join a different company in a higher position. He has a six-figure salary now, a big house in the center of Beverly Hills, and a cute dog who clings to my leg whenever I visit him with Parker.

"Yeah...that's true."

I smile at him and he must see how it doesn't reach my lips because he reaches over, circling his fingers around my wrist. He pulls me towards him gently, placing a full-mouthed kiss on my lips.

I pretend to close my eyes in pleasure because like always, I feel nothing.

After Carter Bell, all the guys were destroyed for me. That man ruined my sexuality to the point that I feel disinterested in even looking at any guy who isn't him. My trust issues have become a cage for anyone who tries to capture my heart.

I had managed to stay single for almost four years and now that Carter is back, the sudden flip in my belly is back too.

"You're so beautiful, Amaya," Jeremy says, giving me a cute, lopsided smile as he lets me go. "You sure you don't need a ride back to your apartment? I have been meaning to get your kid addicted to riding motorcycles."

"I told you, Jeremy. If that boy was interested in bikes, he would have shown by now. His father was a rider."

A pretty damn good one at that. He even made me fall in love with riding motorcycles.

"Still fixed on music, ain't he?"

I nod and Jeremy's grin widens. "That kid is going to rock the world someday, Maya. You better be ready for the fame."

"I'll be." I nod, knowing that I would try my best to let my Parker follow all his dreams. "Thanks again."

"Stop with the thanks, darling, or I won't give you a ride again."

He wears his helmet back, giving me a wink. I lean into him and place a kiss on the tip of his nose, a silent thanks for being there for me whenever I needed him. I have been his 'girlfriend' for eight months now and he has been the perfect guy for me.

Except for the sex part. Jeremy is kind of the traditional thinking one. He prefers doing the did after he is properly wedded to the woman in question.

When I told him about how I ended up with Parker, that just fueled his resolution further.

"Bye, honey," he mutters, his voice sounding muffled inside the helmet as he rides off onto the road.

I turn to enter the building, following the steps I took this morning to reach Mom's apartment. With each moment that I pass in the company of my thoughts, flashes of Carter keep replaying in my head.