CHANGE

FOUR

LOUIS

Louis sighs as he gets out of the shower, his arms stinging from the fresh cuts littering his tanned skin. The buzzer for his apartment sounds and he heads to the door, a small towel slung around his waist as he presses the microphone.

"Who is it?"

"It's Zayn"

Louis laughs, "Piss off". He lets go of the button and goes into his bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and sighing. Then he pulls on a white hoodie and black sweats, before laying on his bed once again, burying his face in the sheets.

"Louis"

Louis shoots up from the bed with a fright, his damp hair flicking water everywhere as he jumps. "Shit! What the fuck?!" He yells, looking at Zayn leaning against the door frame. "How the fuck did you get in?" He asks, rubbing a hand over his face.

Zayn shrugs, "Liam told me the code"

Louis sighs and leans back, groaning. "What do you want Zayn".

Zayn sighs as he stands up straight, pulling himself off the door frame. " The boys are worried about you you know Louis" he says, raising his eyebrows.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Well I don't know why, I'm fine, what do you care anyways?" He adds on at the end, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

Zayn's gaze softens as he looks at his former best mate sat on his bed and he walks over to him, sitting down beside him.
"You know, when I left the band, I didn't want it to be such a horrific ending. I wanted to leave with us still being friends"

"We were" Louis mumbles, "Until you started talking shit about us in your interviews"

Zayn sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "I've been a twat" he admits. "But I was trying to find my feet, you know? It wasn't easy. All I'd ever known was the band and that life. But it was getting too much" He pauses for a minute, staring intently at Louis' blue eyes before carrying on.

"I know I deserted you Louis. But at the time it seemed like the only thing I could do' His eyes don't leave Louis' until Louis looks away.

"How?, how was it the only thing you could do? What was so bad, Zayn, that you felt the need to turn your back on your four brothers. You just left us" The hurt is clear in Louis' expression, along with anger, the only real emotion Zayn has seen from him since he arrived at the meeting, "You left me", his voice has turned softer at this, vulnerability showing.

Zayn's heart drops, he knows what Louis is talking about. The XFactor show, the one after Louis' mum died. "I should have gone" he whispers, "But it was too hard, i was a coward".

Louis scoffs, "hard for you?, what about me, you didn't even call". A tear slips down his cheek and he wipes it quickly, his gaze stony as his hand passes back. "You promised Zayn, you said you would be there. If you hadn't agreed to go i would have understood. But you let me down...I can't forgive you".

Zayn nods, understanding and Louis stands up straight. "Why didn't you talk to us Zayn? We would have been there for you". Louis wouldn't admit it, but these years he's wondered. Although they saw what he said in interviews, it didn't all add up. They all felt like that sometimes, and they all struggled. Why did Zayn get to leave and they didn't.

"Why did you leave? And don't bullshit me" Louis sneered, wanting the truth for once.

"It was easier" Zayn finally says after a few minutes of silence.

"Easier than what Zayn! For fucks sake!" Louis' yells, jumping up from the bed and throwing his arms in The air. "Easier than touring all year round?! Easier than struggling to write an album in two weeks?! Easier than enduring hours of management and meetings?! Because if that's what it was easier than then fuck you!! We all put up with that shit. You think it was easy for us?!"

Zayn shakes his head, a tear slipping down his cheek as he stands in front of Louis.

"Easier than admitting I was in love with my best friend".

Louis goes pale as he steps back, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. "Y- you what?"

Zayn nods, "you heard me..... I-I love you Lou"

Louis shakes his head as he hits the wall, his eyes wide. "N-no, you don't love me, y-you can't".

"Don't you think I already know that Louis, don't you think I spent endless hours trying to convince myself it was just a stupid crush? Hell I even got engaged!" The tears pour down Zayn's face as he shouts this at Louis, his voice breaking.
Zayn looks heartbroken as he looks at Louis' terrified reaction, Louis continues to shake his head as he squeezes his eyes tightly shut. "I could never have put that on you, you were with Ha-"

"Fuck!" Louis yells, turning around and swinging his fist into the wall. "Why are you telling me this now then?!"

"You wanted an explanation!" Zayn yells back, trying to reason with him. "Well, this is it' He says quieter.

Louis calms down but his wrists itch as he buries his face into his hands and rubs his eyes. He can't do this right now, yes he wanted answers, he needed them, but he was not expecting this.

He looks up coldly at Zayn's distressed face and glares at him, "You need to go".

Zayn's face falls and he tries to take a step towards him. "Louis please, we need to talk about this"

Louis shakes his head and sighs, "Zayn please, just go"

"I can't Lou, I don't want it to be like this, Please!"

"Zayn go!" Louis shouts, standing up abruptly "i don't want to be with you, not then, not now, not ever! So fucking go!". Zayn nods sadly and turns to leave the room, glancing once more at Louis' hard stare before exiting the apartment.

It's when Louis hears the door close he eventually allows himself to crack, sliding down his bedroom wall and crying into his hands. His sobs echo around the empty room as he runs his fingers through his hair and tugs on it. Why does he have to be such an arsehole? His once best friend just had the courage to admit he's been in love with him for the past decade or so and he's just gone and chucked it straight back in his face, throwing him out of his apartment. What has he become?