CHANGE

FORTY

LOUIS

Louis lays on his bed for a long while after Liam leaves him to his thoughts, contemplating.

He sent Simon a message just before, saying he's too unwell for their session later, and has silenced his phone to avoid any hurtful abuse he'll receive as a response. Liam has woken him up a little, reminded him of how much he hates being that mans puppet.

Louis has willingly put himself into a cage he once fought so hard to break out of, call it Stockholm syndrome? Only he loves the pain his prison brings him, not his captor.

But is it worth it, he thinks to himself, to suffer this much when the cure is right across the hallway?

Even if Harry has hurt him, years have passed since the actual incident and the man has expressed his guilt and sorrow. Louis could never hate him, and he never wants Harry to experience the feelings of guilt and madness that he himself has.

After a lengthy debate with himself, Louis finally makes his decision, and attempts to stand up, succeeding in doing so. He then decides to have a shower before he goes through with what he's about to do.

As the warm water cascades down his stinging limbs, a sense of peace overwhelms him, and he knows for certain that this is what he needs to do.

After showering he changes into clean sweats and a long sleeved white t-shirt. The material of the shirt is cool and doesn't sting as it brushes against the wounds on his front and back, making it the obvious choice. He doesn't feel like punishing himself right now.

He looks in the bathroom mirror, running a gentle hand over his growing stubble, deciding to leave it as it is, then he limps out of the shared bathroom into the hallway.

He hesitates for a minute, questioning his next step. But continues on before he can change his mind. He doesn't head in the direction of his own room, instead turning towards a certain curly haired mans bedroom.

A few light taps sound on the door, and with Harry's permission, Louis makes his way into the younger mans room.

Unsurprisingly, Harry looks surprised to see him, and rolls onto his side as he notices Louis emerging through the door.

"Hey Lou" he states, bewildered that the man is stood in his doorway, he hates him right?

"Everything okay?" Harry questions.

Louis nods, shuffling towards the bed. He doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to manage standing.

Harry seems to sense this, and moves over on the bed to make room for the man, patting the space beside him. "Come, sit".

Louis accepts the invitation and takes a seat beside Harry on the bed.

An awkward silence falls between the two, Harry playing with his long fingers, twisting and playing with the several rings that litter them.

Harry is the first to break this silence, glancing at Louis with sad eyes and long lashes, making his green orbs difficult to spot, before finally opening his mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry, Lou-".

He's interrupted by Louis' hand reaching over to cradle his cheek gently, stroking the smooth skin under his thumb as his pulse rate increases.

"It's okay" he whispers, eyes fleeting over Harry's angelic features.

"It was years ago, there's no point in dwelling on the past anymore". Louis tucks a fallen curl behind Harry's ear and gulps, hopefully he hasn't lost his chance.

"We've lost so much time, H, and neither of us are perfect-" he stops to wipe a tear that has fallen from Harry's eye, "But we're perfect for each other...right?".

Harry feels relief flood his body and leans into the older mans touch, closing his eyes and letting their foreheads touch.

"Of course we are" He whispers, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Lou" Harry murmurs, bringing a hand up to the back of Louis' head and stroking his fluffy hair.

"It's okay, love, I forgive you" Louis replies. "Please, no more apologies, no more guilt...just us eh? You and I".

He really means those words as they escape his mouth, and a sense of tranquillity is restored to his mind and body as he allows himself to lean on Harry, after avoiding him for almost three months.

He brushes his thumb over Harrys bottom lip, asking for permission, which Harry quickly gives, nodding his head gently so that their foreheads don't clash.

Louis leans in and connects Harry's soft lips with his own, and it feels as though he's drowning in love and comfort as they engage in a meaningful kiss. Each time their lips interlock it feels like fireworks are going off in his tummy, it's almost a natural healer.

It's Louis who's first to pull away, not wanting to push his luck, but Harry quickly pulls him back in, Louis' damp hair tickling his jaw. Freshly washed, it smells of coconuts as Harry breathes it in.

They kiss for a while before Harry is brave enough to place a hand on Louis' waist and lean back against the plump pillows on the bed.

Louis is quick to crawl on top of the younger man, never disconnecting their lips once, and Harry places a hand on Louis' bottom half, giving it a gentle squeeze.

This causes Louis to breathe out heavily, so deprived of touch, and this only encourages Harry to continue.

Only when Harry reaches a hand up the hem of Louis' t-shirt does Louis stop him, shaking his head and giving him a scared look. He doesn't want Harry to see the many fresh burns and stripes that litter his torso and back, not right now. Things are perfect in this moment.

Harry is about to apologise but Louis places a finger over his lips and smiles, shaking his head. There's no need for an apology, Louis will explain his injuries, just in his own time this time, not by Liam's gobby mouth. He needs that.

Harry seems to understand that taking off Louis' shirt is a no go, but that doesn't stop him from removing his own, tugging it over his head.

Louis smirks as he sets eyes on Harry's toned chest, the same tattoo's littering his body, with a few new additions.

"So pretty" he states, a fact.

He places hand on Harry's huge bicep and laughs, but Harry grabs the back of his head and pulls him down for another kiss.

It's more heated this time, Louis' hand raking Harry's chest. Harry's body naturally responds to every touch from the older man, melting towards him. Louis can't help but guilty that he can't allow Harry to do this to him.

In response to these feelings Louis takes hold of Harry's wrist and directs it towards the waistband of his own joggers, encouraging the man to pull them down. He wants to show the younger man that he's open to him, he belongs to Harry once again.

Harry seems to get the message, as he removes them and Louis kicks them off at the ankles.

Harry then gets a tighter grip of Louis' arse, roaming his hand over it and pushing his lower body up to gain some friction.

He's just about to remove his own trousers when the bedroom door opens, and they're greeted by a red faced Simon, who looks like someone's just murdered his mother in cold blood in front of him.

Oh shit.