CHANGE

THIRTY EIGHT

LOUIS

"Louis, Louis".

Louis stirs as he hears voices calling his name, but he can't bring himself to open his eyes, he's in so much pain.

His eyelids and limbs feel heavy, and he doesn't feel in control of his own body.

"What do we do? We can't let him sleep here". He hears the undeniable voice of Liam, and that's when he realises where he is.

After his session he had walked back to the villa, but that was the most pain he'd ever been in his entire life, it was a miracle he managed to make it back really.

He remembers struggling up the gravel path to the patio doors, and nothing after that. He must have passed out outside before making it into the villa.

His suspicions are confirmed by a light breeze that makes the hairs on his exposed ankles stand up. Oh fuck.

"Lets at least move him to the sofa, so he's not outside. He must have been here all night". That's Niall.

Louis decides he doesn't want them moving him, they'd probably life him, and he doesn't know if his body could take that right now, they might press on all of his sore areas.

He groans, forcing his eyes open as the sun glares down at him angrily.

He sees a concerned Liam and Niall stood above him, debating what to do with their clearly injured friend.

"I'm awake, I'm awake" he murmurs, taking hold of a stone pillar next to him to support his weight as he tries to get up.

Unfortunately, his limbs collapse underneath him as he tries with all of his might to stand up, and he ends up back in the gravel.

He sighs, and closes his eyes gently, trying to remain composed.

"Lou, let me help you mate" Liam offers, stepping towards him.

"No" Louis insists, edging backwards. He doesn't want anyone near him. "I can manage".

He tries to drag himself up again, and this time he succeeds, but he still has to cling to the patio doors in order to stay upright and be able to walk by himself.

Liam and Niall watch him in anticipation as he manages to make it through the doors into the open plan kitchen and living room, ready to catch him if he falls. And they're right to do so, as Louis goes to turn down the corridor to his room, his legs collapse under him once again, and Liam and Niall are quick to grab an arm each to keep the man upright.

"You're alright mate, we've got you" Liam reassures a struggling Louis.

Louis is too tired and in far too much pain to fight them anymore, and accepts their help as he limps along to his bedroom.

A bamboozled looking Harry emerges from his own bedroom as the lads make their way down the hallway, and he looks horrified as he notices the state of Louis, making him rush towards them.

"Oh my god, Louis, what happened?".

Louis ignores this question as he focuses on getting to his room, avoiding all forms of contact with Harry.

He sighs in relief as they finally make it to his room, and Liam helps him to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Jesus, Lou, how on earth have you managed to get yourself in this state?".

Once again, Louis ignores this question and gestures towards a small chest of drawers, "Chuck me a clean jumper would you".

Liam complies but still continues to question Louis, but the older man just ignores him. "Fuck off would you, Li, I need some kip".

Liam gestures to Niall and Harry to leave the bedroom, wanting to talk to his mate alone and see if that will encourage him to open up. The two comply, and shut the bedroom door behind them.

"Lou" Liam starts, sitting down on the bed beside the older man. "Remember, you can always talk to me".

Louis scoffs, fiddling with the jumper in his hands. "Like shite I can, I still remember what you did you know".

Liam bows his head, now ashamed of his actions. He knows he didn't handle his discovery of Louis' self harm in the right way, but in the moment, his devastation and anger took a hold of his body, no that he's excusing what he did.

"I-I know, Lou, I shouldn't have done that...it wasn't fair on you, nor Harry" he pauses, looking his best friend in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Louis, I really am so so sorry, mate".

Louis hesitates before looking at Liam. "It's alright" he says, there's a meaningful tone to his voice. "I know you care...I-I just can't talk about this".

Liam considers pleading with Louis, beg him to let him in. But in his heart, he knows it will be no use. Louis has put his walls up once again, and there is no sign of them falling anytime soon.

"Okay" Liam breathes out, defeated. "As long as you know I'm here for you if you do need to talk".

Louis nods, "I know".

He shuffles towards Liam, leaning his heavy head on the younger mans shoulder and sighing. "I appreciate you, mate, I know you're only looking out for me".

Liam wraps an arm around Louis' back in response, but this causes the smaller man to yelp in pain, as Liam puts pressure on his healing burns and whips.

Liam is quick to pull away his arm "Shit I'm sorry, Lou".

Louis shakes his head in response, eyes scrunched in pain. "N-no, it's okay, it's not your fault".

Liam sighs, tears prickling his eyes. He just wants to know what is going on with his best mate.

"I'll give you some privacy to get changed" he ruffles Louis' hair before standing up and placing a hand on the door handle. "Shout me if you need me, yeah?".

"Yeah" Louis replies, smiling gratefully.

Once Liam has left the room he pulls his hoodie over his head and then peels the blood soaked, sticky t-shirt from his back, wincing in pain.

Despite the warm temperature due to the sun shining into the bedroom, Louis shivers as he pulls on his clean jumper. He feels extremely unwell.

He considers calling Liam to get him a glass of water, but instead decides to sleep, hoping that this will ease his pain.

At least it gives his head a rest too.