Chapter 59

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Our plans to get Cara were put off one day. Christian had an alternate plan, and this one sounded ten times less risky than my own. I begrudgingly had to admit that Christian was not as dumb as I took him him for. So after a few needed moderations to the plan, we were ready to go. Our once flimsy plan now had substance. I was confident, more confident than I had ever been about it working.

We would be departing in less than one hour.Brian, Max, and Christian were heading to the woods now. With some spare time, I did something I had not done in a while, I went into our room. I went inside my closet and pulled out a box containing her stuff. In my quest to temporarily purge all reminders of her, I stuffed everything away in a box, promising to only open it on the day when I would go to bring her back.

Now I sat here, afraid to open it, afraid to spring up those memories of her. It had been awhile since I had last seen her face. Yes, the rouges used to sometimes send photos of her, beaten and bloodied, a subtle reminder that any plans of rescuing her would only increase the violence towards her. I couldn't look at those, it made me feel even more like a failure for not bringing her back. But the photos I had of her in the box were not that. They were of her, incredibly bubbly, smiling widely, not one trace of bruise or blemish on her.

With a regretful sigh, I heaved opened the box. The box was filled to the brim, there was not just photos in it, but clothes she got me, gifts we exchanged, you name it. Anything that reminded me of her was stored away. It was not a proud moment of mine to put our memories away like that, but it was the particular way in which I chose to deal with grief.

I took out a photo of us, we were in bed and she was spooned inside me. She took it with her phone. I was trying to sleep and nestled my chin on her shoulder. She was making a silly face as she took the photo. There were four more like it in the box.

I remembered these photos well. She chose to take it with flash each time so by the third photo I was irritated and awake. The last photo she had of us was me, both eyes open trying to lunge for the phone. Her shocked but giggling face was blurred and my eyes looked especially murderous.

I looked for more photos of her. I found some of her with her friends, one with her and Christian(how did that get in there?), and more photos of us. Some photos were more solicitous than others. For example, in one photo we were lying in bed under the covers, both naked and I was kissing her neck. I forgot she took this. I shook my head when I saw it, this was not a photo to leave lying around.

I looked through some more before setting them carefully on the bed in small stacks. All the clothes she had bought me were all stored away. I too set those on the bed.

Thinking of her and seeing her belongings made my stomach tighten.

I decided that I could not take anything else out, it would be too much for me. Yes yes I know, I had no problem taking down an armada of rogues but yet I couldn't open a fucking box. I was ready to liberate her, yet I couldn't say her name? The scales that balanced strength and weakness needed serious calibration on my part. How could I show weakness in all areas where most showed strength, but yet refuse to shy away from circumstances which made grown men cower in fear?

While I was pondering that, a mindlink from Matt assured me that everyone was in the right meeting area. It was time to go.

I shifted and ran to the meeting spot. They were all there including Christian. I approached them but focused on Christian solely.

"Are we ready?"

He nodded."To the base it is." He led the way.We ran in synchronization. All the while I prayed to the moon goddess to let me see her face one last time.

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