Chapter 24 - Grief without death

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"You shouldn't have fucking sent them out there without protection!" Alfred's voice booms throughout the offices. "They don't have training. The nurses can't defend themselves and you know that. We don't even let them have weapons. Now look what's happened. She's the only one fucking left!" He then yells before storming away from the major's office, not bothering to listen to the man fumble for an excuse.

"Cass, love, you alright?" he says, his voice now softer, as he crouches in front of the woman. She just sits there and stares off into the distance. "Cass?" he whispers, bringing his hand to the side of her face. "I thought I was going to die." She whispers in reply, tears now brimming her eyes as she changes her focus to him. "I know, love." He says before pulling her into a hug.

She starts to feel better in his embrace, tugging at his uniform to keep him close. A loud bang erupts in the distance, making her flinch. She lifts her head and looks around to make sure that they're not under attack. "It won't be long now, love. This war will soon be over." Alfred says to her, holding her head between his hands. "That's what they said when it started. It's been 4 years." Cass replies with an unamused laugh. "I know." Is all Alfred says.

"Captain, you're being moved to the front line. Nurse, you're going too, but 5 miles in the other direction." One of the soldiers says to them, pulling them from their bubble. "She can't be put on the front line, it's too dangerous." Alfred says, standing up. "We're running out of nurses almost as quick as we're losing soldiers. Those are the orders." The soldier says sternly before walking away.

Cass stands and holds Alfred's hand to stop him from following. "Alfred," She starts, pulling him to face her with a sad smile, "I know this is going to be hard for us, and if I never see you again I will always regret not telling you this." She continues, looking him straight in the eyes. "I love you." She croaks out, her chest threatening to release a sob. "I love you, too. And we will see each other again. I promise." Alfred replies, kissing her softly.

Cass slowly opens her eyes as she falls out of sleep, sadness filling her entire body. That was the last time she saw Alfred before the end of the war. She can't help but wonder what happened to him after that. Did he die on the front line? Is he one of the thousands of unknown dead bodies? Did he manage to survive and make it home? Did she truly have his heart like he had hers?

She shakes the thoughts out of her head as she sits up in her bed. The sun is only just starting to rise, but she feels it's pointless to try and get any more sleep. She carefully stands from her warm bed, making sure to not step on the floorboards that creek in case anyone is still sleeping, and getting changed into her usual trouser and blouse ensemble.

She creeps downstairs and sets the kettle on the fire before sitting at the kitchen table and watching the flames dance in front of her. Her heart aches with the thought of Alfred, the circumstance with Ada making her feel worse. Her own sister doesn't want to be anywhere near her, or the rest of the family for that matter. It had been almost 2 weeks since Freddie had been taken away, and Ada had locked herself in their home. Polly had been taking food there every other day to make sure she stays healthy, and the baby is looked after, though Cass doubts it will help.

~

A few hours later, Tommy and Cass are stood in the lounge, waiting for Polly to come back from Ada's. Hopefully she had some good news. The pair's eyes dart to the door as it opens, revealing their aunt. "Did she take the food?" Cass asks hopefully, earning a sad shake of the head in reply. "Did you speak to her?" Tommy says, rubbing his fingers together nervously. "She didn't speak back, she never does." Polly replies bluntly. "Well, did you tell her?" Tommy asks. "I'll only tell her what I know to be true." Polly spots back.

"Come on, Pol. You saw Tom's reaction. No one can fake a look like that." Cass says, trying to reason with her aunt. "Ada was right about you." Polly scoffs. "Right, I'm only going to say this one more time. It wasn't me who shopped Freddie Thorne." Tommy says with a frustrated sigh. This makes Polly turn sharply from the odd job she had been doing to keep her from looking at either of them. "Tommy, I'd ask you swear on the bible, but we all know you can't do that. Nothing you hold is sacred." Pol then says, glaring at her nephew. She then abruptly leaves the room, slamming the door as she leaves.

Cass and Tommy share a look of disappointment. "They'll come around, Tom. They have to. Nothing is more important than family." Cass says reassuringly. "Try telling me that when Ada starts getting along with you." Tommy replies in a spiteful tone. "That's not fair. I'm on your side here." Cass defends herself. "I didn't ask you to be." Tommy says, raising his voice. "Fine then." Cass retorts, standing from her chair. "I'll leave you to do this alone, shall I? Thomas Shelby doesn't need anyone's help. He can look after himself because that's the only thing he cares about. Himself." She then snaps before leaving the room in the opposite direction to their aunt.

~

In her huff, Cass went to see the horses down Charlie's yard. She spent around 3 hours there, just talking to them as if they could understand what she was going through. After that, she started to feel hungry so decided to go home. With the way she was feeling, she didn't even care if Tommy was still there. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

As she walks through the front door, there is an eery silence. She makes her way through to the kitchen where Polly, Finn, Arthur, and John are all stood around watching someone at the table. When her eyes focus on the man, she realises who it is, and the fact that he has no right to be beaming the way he is at the sight of his oldest daughter.

"Oh my god, Casandra! You've grown into a lovely young woman, haven't you?" Arthur Sr says with a large smile. "Come on, give your old man a hug." He then says, going to stand from his seat. "Stay there." She says sternly, pointing towards the seat. "Cass!" Arthur scolds, making her roll her eyes. Of course Arthur was stupid enough to bring him here. "What are you doing here?" Cass says, never taking her eyes off her father as she moves to stand directly opposite him. "Can't a man come and visit his family?" Arthur Sr replies. "Not after he abandoned them and stole all of his daughter's money." She retorts, placing her hands on her hips. "Oh, come on, that's all in the past." Her father says with a smirk, making her blood bubble with anger.

"Why are you here? You come to rob me again?" Cass then says, stepping closer to intimidate him. "Cassie, Dad would never do that." Finn says from across the room, prompting his sister to glare at him. "Don't you dare call him that." She snaps, making Finn retreat as he is being told off.

Just then, the front door slams. Everyone shares a look knowing it's Tommy, and that this isn't going to end well. He storms into the room, immediately stooping in his tracks when he sees his father. "Tommy son! How are ya?" Arthur Sr says happily, rising from his seat. "Get out." Tommy says bluntly. "Come on, son. I'm a changed man." Their father then says, making Cass and John scoff in disbelief. "This family needed you 10 years ago when you walked out on us. When you fucking robbed your own daughter." Tommy says, his voice remaining scarily calm.

"Get out." Cass says through gritted teeth. "Guys, he's different." Arthur says pathetically. "Shut up." John, Tommy, Polly, and Cass all say at the same time. "It's alright, son." Arthur Sr says towards his oldest son. "Arthur Shelby never stays where he's not welcome." He adds, pulling his coat off the back of the chair and walking towards Tommy. "Quite something you've made them, and yourself." He whispers bitterly before pushing past Tommy and walking out of the house. Cass can't help but sigh in relief, which doesn't go unnoticed by everyone else in the room.

The room is left in silence before Arthur decides to speak up. "He's our dad." He defends, making Cassie scoff again. "He's a selfish bastard." Tommy retorts. "You calling someone a selfish bastard? Bit rich, don't you think?" Arthur then says through gritted teeth. "Arthur." Polly warns, only to be ignored. "I mean, thanks to you, we're already down a bloody sister. How long is it going to take before you drive the other one away." Arthur continues, gesturing towards Cass. "Don't bring me into this. You're the one who brought him here." Cass says sternly. "If you want to see him, Arthur, you're more than welcome to go with him. Just don't come crying to us when it all goes wrong." Tommy says, almost yells, pointing towards where their father just left. "I fucking will." Arthur snaps as he slams his hands on the table and stands up, making sure to shoulder bump everyone but Finn and Polly on his way out.

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