matilda / j.avery

thirteen - surgery

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

Link inhales slowly. "Yes, Mae."

"Read my lips, genius. NO." She crosses her arms.

"You're so freaking stubborn!" He snaps.

"Heck yeah I am." She glares. "Find some other way to help me."

"This is the only way!" He tuts. He slaps his hand onto her Xray. "Look. Look at that - your body is rejecting the bullet now and it's pushing it out. Your bone is weak and the muscle around it is dying. Do you want to lose your leg!?" He demands.

"I want a doctor who will listen to what I am saying - I am not having a surgery!" She snaps.

"You have no other options!" He snaps back slowly so she hears every word. "You need it out and you need it gone soon."

"We'll see." She grabs her jacket as she jumps down.

"Mae, I swear to you now, if that bullet isn't out by the end of the year then you are highly likely to face complications and probably lose the leg." He snaps sternly. "I'm trying to do what's best for you."

"No you're not." She storms out.

Link sighs and throws his hands up in frustration. He really has explored every option; she needs the surgery and she needs it now. It's already damaged her body, why is she letting it do it more?

"Hey, tough case?" Meredith raises an eyebrow as she passes.

"Enfuriating." He mutters and sighs.

"That was Jackson's new thing, right?" Mer wonders.

"Yeah, Doctor Wigan." He gathers her notes. "She's a vet."

"Ah. Vets are the worst patients." Mer nods, leaning on the door. "Whats she like? I haven't had chance to talk to her much since I got back from Minnesota. What's she like? Everyone seems... hooked."

"She's a good person." He nods. "Awesome surgeon. Stubborn as fu-frick." He shakes his head with a sigh.

"Maybe ask Owen how to help?"

"Owen would go mad - they're good friends."

"Seriously? Owen made a friend? Wow, I've been gone too long." She shakes her head. She took one research position for 6 months and everyone changes.

"Just... please don't talk about it to anyone, I shouldn't have talked to you." He shakes his head.

"Yeah... you got it." Mer nods once.

-

Mae leans on the edge of the wall, looking over the side of the roof. She likes the quiet now (sometimes) - this is the only place she can get it while at the hospital. She's trying to think over what Link said. You could lose the leg. She doesn't want that. Definitely not, absolutely not. But....she can't do the surgery. She won't.

Truth be told? She's utterly terrified. She works in a hospital, sure, but she's deadly afraid. Doesn't like being on the opposite end. Especially after the last time. She was at her lowest the last time she had a surgery - after being shot. She spent 2 months in the hospital and with every passing day she felt herself losing it more and more. The loss of control, loss of power. She had to rely on others, others she a) didn't trust , and b) who gossiped about her at every waking moment.

To put herself back in that situation? The lowest point of her life? It's almost a death wish. Half of her already wishes to be gone from this world, to be in a place where Tyler is, she doesn't want to sink deeper.