My head is spinning rapidly as I lay on my bed. I can't seem to get one thought through and I haven't been since yesterday. Did I do the right thing? She knew I'd been through some stuff. Why wouldn't she just understand? I'm such an idiot! Am I a horrible human being? I could've explained it to her. Everything. I haven't had time to figure things out properly. I don't have feelings for Sophie anymore, I think. Not like I used to at least. She doesn't mean anything to me in that sense. I didn't mean to hurt May. I was just trying to protect her from all of this. I didn't think I would ever be able to become completely and utterly happy ever again after all that happened all those months ago. How was I supposed to know that I was happy already? I haven't felt this bad ever before. She won't answer my calls. I think she's even turned off her phone. I did the right thing... Right?
"I don't understand!" I scream into my pillow.
"Ethan are you alright?" Mom calls from downstairs.
"No!" I helplessly respond, my face still buried in the pillow.
"What? I can't hear you, darling!" She calls. "Are you hurt?"
I lift my head before responding "My heart is bleeding!"
I am met by silence. How is it possible that she doesn't hear me?
"I'm fine!" I give in. Am I? Matthew and I talked a whole lot last night and I think he made me realize something.
"Moom?" I call.
"Yes, Ethan?" She responds, her voice a bit tired from my dramatics.
"I'm going over to Matthew's!" I say and lift my body off my mattress.
"You want me to drive you?" She offers.
Do I? No. I don't.
"I'm taking my bike!" I say.
Ha! Yes! I said it!
Oh shit. I just said it.
"I'm sorry, did you just say what I think you said?" Mom says and appears in my doorway.
"Yes!" I flash her a toothy smile as I grab a hoodie from the floor before I can change my mind.
Woo! Progress!
"I'll be back before dinner!" I say as I pass her by.
"Have fun!" She says, and I can practically hear the excitement in her voice.
I rush down the stairs and out the door. For a minute I'm blinded by the sun, but then I'm off again. I stop right before I reach the garage. I'm really doing this. Before I'm able to change my mind I rush inside and find the bike right where I left it. Or, where mom did after the mechanics were done repairing it. The garage is light and only my bike and Laura's car are inside. Hanneli's is with her at college and mom's is outside. I open the garage door and remove the cover over the motorcycle. I haven't driven my motorcycle since I tossed the book in the pond. I was afraid I'd get lost again. I hated the damn vehicle. Before all that though, I loved it.
"Alright beauty, let's see if you still run as smoothly as you used to," I say out loud as I sit down. The engine roars to life and I carefully roll out of the garage. "We can do this. You and me. It's not that far to Matthew's place."
I release the brakes and burst forward a little faster than I expected, smashing one of mom's flowerpots.
"Ethan!" My mom gasps from an open window.
"Sorry! I promise I'll be more careful-" I call as I leave a nice tire mark in the gravel, practically flying off the property. I smile to myself as I picture the look on her face.
YOU ARE READING
My Lovely Life - The Story of Ethan Bennett
Teen FictionI just wrote all of this and then I accidentally deleted it as well as the book cover. I'm somewhat infuriated atm. The book was written as I fell in love for the first time, while in the Swedish equivalent of High School so it should be one hell of...
