→ 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭┊Suicide Boy Fanficion

Epilogue: Imagine it all come true

It had been two years since my life had been thrown into chaos. Despite the pain, I emerged with newfound strength and determination. Heemin and Soorim still occupied different places in my life, but the closeness that had been before was no longer there. I was filled with a sense of contentment at how far I'd come, yet I couldn't help but feel a perception of sadness that things were no longer the same between us.

I learned I can be happy with myself.

Soorim was there to help me through everything until he suddenly wasn't. I'd gone back to school, and everything seemed fine. I had made it into a new group of friends who were much more like me than the group I had hung out with before. Soorim ditched me, and I cried my eyes out.

Soorim would never love me the way I love him.

I fell hard for him. I knew I couldn't have him, so I turned my sights to someone else. I thought I might have discovered him until I found out he would never love me like I wanted him to. I'd become so fixated on Soorim in my life and no one else could replace him.

I sought comfort in my friends, but I couldn't seem to keep them. No matter who I seemed to like, they didn't like me back. It was like I was cursed to never be happy with someone. Then one day, a friend of mine just walked away from me after giving me a reason I hadn't expected.

"I don't have time for this. Everyone has a story, but no one cares to know mine. You just asked me to talk. That's it."

He hurt me. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my thoughts 24/7. I couldn't go a day without thinking about him. It was a weird kind of love. Not romantic, but a love I couldn't place.I thought back to the day I was invited to the party. I could've refused, but I didn't. I went. I went to get him back.

I thought back to the day the hooker came to my house. I could've looked the other way and pretended like I hadn't seen her, but I didn't. The only reason I didn't was because of Soorim. I was willing to see a hooker come to my house for the sake of getting him back. I didn't care about the consequences. I did it for him.

The more I thought about things, the more.

I felt unwanted.

A piece of me started to die. I clawed and scratched at it, but it wouldn't budge. It just grew in strength, like a fungus. I couldn't make friends save my life. I hated it. I hated being alone. I'd always had my friends with me before, but now I was all alone. I began to isolate myself, thinking that if I didn't care, no one else would. I don't know why I thought this, but I had never felt so miserable in my life.

When people do care, you need to value them. I lost my friends and damaged my relationship with my classmates. I lost myself. I've never felt so low.

The fungus grew. It grew so strong in my heart.

I'd always been happy before, but I wasn't anymore.

I was over it. I was so over it.

"I need help."

I needed help.

I sat for two whole years trying to figure this thing out. Trying to understand how I fell into this rut. I thought back to the day I answered Soorim's call. How I was so excited to talk to him again. The day I ran into Soorim's arms and cried. I realized just how much I loved him. I'd always loved him, but I'd never realized it. Even though he hurt me, I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my thoughts 24/7. I couldn't go a day without thinking about him. It was a weird kind of love. Not romantic, but a love I couldn't place.

For Heemin, I decided to take a risk, throw caution to the wind and reach out for a relationship. After years of pain and trauma, we eventually found the courage to bridge the gap between us and move forward together.

When I was able to finally understand the root of my self-loathing, I was finally able to love myself for whom I am. I found security in myself. I don't need anyone else to define my self-worth. I am in control of my life and my happiness. I am in control of my own happiness. I am my own person.

"I don't need anyone else to define my self-worth. I am in control of my life and my happiness. I am in control of my own happiness. I am my own person."

I'd been broken for so long. I was so scared to build myself back up. Yet, since Soorim disappeared, I did. I found myself. I found the courage to reach out and make lasting friendships. I built myself up, brick by brick.

I am my own person, and I am finally ready to love myself. I am ready to heal.

"I am my own person, and I am finally ready to love myself. I am ready to heal."